The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

<p>Most of us have people in our lives who love us &mdash; partners, friends, family &mdash; yet many of us still don&rsquo;t feel as loved as we want to. Why is there such a gap between being loved and feeling loved? And what can we actually do about it?</p> <p>Dr. Laurie sits down with social psychologists Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky and Dr. Harry Reis, co-authors of <a href="https://books.apple.com/us/book/how-to-feel-loved/id6745731712"><em>How to Feel Loved</em></a>, to unpack the science behind this disconnect. They explain why feeling loved so often eludes us &mdash; even in close relationships &mdash; and share research-backed insights that can help us change the conversation, strengthen our connections, and feel more loved both now and in the relationships we build in the future.</p> <p>Resources mentioned in this episode:</p> <p><a href="https://books.apple.com/us/book/how-to-feel-loved/id6745731712"><em>How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most</em></a></p> <p>"<a href="https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf">Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General&rsquo;s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community</a>"</p> <p>"<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9200634/">Social Ties and Susceptibility to the Common Cold</a>"</p> <p>"<a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2017-10961-003">Toward Understanding Understanding: The Importance of Feeling Understood in Relationships</a>"</p> <p>"<a href="https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9362686/">How to Get Through Hard Times: Principals' Listening Buffers Teachers' Stress on Turnover Intention and Promotes Organizational Citizenship Behavior</a>"</p> <p><a href="https://books.apple.com/us/book/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people/id1595609149"><em>How to Win Friends and Influence People</em></a></p> <p><a href="https://books.apple.com/lv/book/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people-for-teen-girls/id381853375"><em>How to Win Friends and Influence People for Teen Girls</em></a></p> <p>"<a href="https://compass.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/spc3.70082">Self-Expansion Theory: Origins, Current Evidence, and Future Horizons</a>"</p> <p>"<a href="https://sonjalyubomirsky.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Nelson-Layous-Cole-Lyubomirsky-2016.pdf">Do Unto Others or Treat Yourself? The Effects of Prosocial and Self-Focused Behavior on Psychological Flourishing</a>"</p> <p>"<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28581323/">Everyday Prosociality in the Workplace: The Reinforcing Benefits of Giving, Getting, and Glimpsing</a>"</p> <p>"<a href="https://sonjalyubomirsky.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/Layous-et-al.-2012.pdf">Kindness Counts: Prompting Prosocial Behavior in Preadolescents Boosts Peer Acceptance and Well-Being</a>"</p> <p>"<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35905861/">The Genomic Impact of Kindness to Self vs. Others: A Randomized Controlled Trial</a>:</p><p>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.</p>

<p>What does it mean to live a meaningful life? How do you find direction when you feel stuck or you&rsquo;re unsure about your purpose? Dave Evans and Bill Burnett, co-founders of the Stanford Life Design Lab and authors of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/How-Live-Meaningful-Life-Thinking/dp/1668084899"><em>How to Live a Meaningful Life</em></a> join Dr. Laurie to challenge our assumptions about where meaning really comes from. They share practical strategies from the world of design thinking to create a more purposeful and fulfilling life while making the most of your current circumstances.</p> <p>Resources mentioned in this episode:</p> <p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Designing-Your-Life-Well-Lived-Joyful/dp/1101875321/ref=sr_1_1?adgrpid=186468607116&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.QxCsh0-mkd76Quzh0NkJQ6jBNzoUIB5nbGdvE03EzEDo_9rCaFD2Mx1jATpSrhYjWo5XJI-RwoUt94k8ncl1VFi8NysakeegJGnJtAFckPRjsD8Hpjpe_7VJ-hBzt1iAp3Nr0kI4WpCtdGLZ9LV_1Zok2JOpbMbIVR1HdsyxDjumAPn-CPcs06Qdfj1sj-W0gTog13YbgCdmlLjDghMss4JxUoqLUpt5dvAEI5whBvQ.foSBkvPI3KobgF8kryfmfSCMTzuVHLpmGRMbs3v8M5Q&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;hvadid=792743001533&amp;hvdev=c&amp;hvexpln=0&amp;hvlocphy=9004400&amp;hvnetw=g&amp;hvocijid=3232145671337798699--&amp;hvqmt=e&amp;hvrand=3232145671337798699&amp;hvtargid=kwd-361420157037&amp;hydadcr=21860_13695409_2458594&amp;keywords=design+your+life&amp;mcid=1bed389dd8b53eb3aaa3d0bbc22afbe1&amp;qid=1769799471&amp;sr=8-1"><em>Designing Your Life: How to Build a Well-Lived, Joyful Life</em></a></p> <p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/How-Live-Meaningful-Life-Thinking/dp/1668084899"><em>How to Live a Meaningful Life: Using Design Thinking to Unlock Purpose, Joy, and Flow Every Day</em></a></p> <p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Flow-Psychology-Experience-Perennial-Classics/dp/0061339202"><em>Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience</em></a></p> <p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Developing-Mind-Third-Relationships-Interact/dp/1462542751/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.YLDde29j-rthu_dg8bzFRHewpY6H12VdHcwoOQpVDZXsY7HbmOw1_dNyFkaeonX1HOBjr4RCvlGgdByQzbvf3BAMHLqEpHSxZ5avHRgqfuJLQdo6g8kznPYNcF-dT81rmX0-vdyp_Mt_w0aIfDeOFgkmaee-PD1Xwh9XTVFVJcT8Y9MdHrioAAZhCFnXB_-3aIc7IG-Xc8UO4fdU4oqImQ.00yX-_feGRTbROHMvddV-2yADBsfMCdesMl3aPRL3L4&amp;qid=1769799689&amp;sr=1-1"><em>The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are</em></a></p> <p>"<a href="https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/psp-pspa0000281.pdf">Overly Shallow?: Miscalibrated Expectations Create a Barrier to Deeper Conversation</a>"</p><p>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.</p>

<p>According to the science, it really is better to give than receive. Donating a dollar; sharing a kind word or lending someone a hand changes lives, but can also hugely boost your happiness. So we're teaming up with other podcasts from Hidden Brain to Revisionist History to ask you to give to a charity helping some of the poorest people around. We're calling it #PodsFightPoverty.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;</p> <p>Go to <a href="https://www.givedirectly.org/happinesslab2025/">givedirectly.org/happinesslab</a> right now and give whatever you can. And the first $500,000 we donate will be matched thanks to our friends at&nbsp;<a href="https://givingmultiplier.org/">Giving Multiplier</a>!</p> <p>Even a small donation will make you feel good and have a much larger impact on the world than you thought possible. To help inspire you, this special episode examines the science of giving and shares stories of heartwarming and impactful acts of kindness.&nbsp; &nbsp;</p><p>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.</p>

<p>On National Stress Awareness Day we've pulled a popular episode from our archive.&nbsp;Stress can suck. Many of us drown in it - worrying about past events and fearing upcoming challenges. We even stress about feeling stressed. So how can we reset our relationship with stress - benefitting from its positives and avoiding those negatives?&nbsp;</p> <p>Dr Jenny Taitz has some effective tips to help you greet stress more healthily. A clinical psychologist and the author of&nbsp;<a href="https://drjennytaitz.com/books/"><em>Stress Resets: How to Soothe Your Body and Mind in Minutes</em></a>, Dr Jenny explains that if we think differently about challenges and tough situations and take action, then stress can become a friend rather than a foe.</p><p>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.</p>

<p>Every choice you make shapes your wellbeing - and the bigger the decision, the greater the impact. So when it comes to life-changing questions like where to live, who to marry, or which career to pursue, how can you tell if you&rsquo;re making the best decision for your long-term happiness?</p> <p>Economists might argue that you should weigh up every single option carefully - like a gambler in a casino figuring out the odds of winning. But psychologist Barry Schwartz says you can't apply a formula to happiness. In this episode, he shares insights from his new book, <a href="https://yalebooks.yale.edu/book/9780300283990/choose-wisely/"><em>Choose Wisely: Rationality, Ethics, and the Art of Decision-Making</em>&nbsp;</a>(co-authored with philosopher Richard Schuldenfrei), offering a more thoughtful and human approach to making life&rsquo;s hardest choices.</p><p>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.</p>