Becoming Untriggered (with Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn)

Summary of Becoming Untriggered (with Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn)

by JLML Press

48m•February 3, 2026
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Overview of Becoming Untriggered (with Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn)

This Unruffled episode (hosted by Janet Lansbury) features Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn—couple, parents, and trauma-informed coaches—who explain how childhood experiences shape adult reactions (especially in parenting), outline practical healing processes (reparenting, somatic release, nervous-system regulation), and contrast coaching approaches with traditional therapy. The conversation centers on helping people stop being hijacked by old pain so they can act from the present, integrate fragmented parts of self, and rebuild relationships (including with their children).

Guests & context

  • Host: Janet Lansbury (Unruffled)
  • Guests:
    • Lavinia Brown — coach focused on mothers, inner-child reparenting, practical goal-based work (offers free workbook).
    • Andrew Lynn — coach working largely with men (30–50), emphasizes somatic release, nervous-system regulation, and integration of fragmented parts.
  • Audience: parents (especially mothers), men with unresolved developmental trauma, anyone triggered by past experiences.

Core topics discussed

  • Why people seek coaching vs. traditional therapy
  • How childhood trauma shows up as adult triggers, shame, volatility, anxiety, addiction, procrastination, people-pleasing
  • The inner child and "reparenting" as the core healing mechanism
  • Somatic (body-based) release: "subtraction" of stored emotion followed by integration/reconnection
  • Coaching formats, timelines, and why paced work (not “cramming”) matters
  • Practical tools: tracking triggers, nightly practice, listening + validating before reassuring
  • Online coaching benefits and accessibility

Key takeaways

  • Triggers are pointers, not personal attacks: a disproportionate reaction usually signals an unprocessed earlier experience.
  • Healing is both somatic and relational:
    • Somatic: release repressed emotion stored in the body (Andrew’s emphasis).
    • Relational: reparenting the inner child—listening, validating, and giving what was missing (Lavinia’s emphasis).
  • Therapy often helps make connections; coaching can be more goal-oriented and action-focused (e.g., reducing yelling, being calmer).
  • Integration follows release: once a traumatized part can feel and release, the adult self can meet it and provide the new, corrective experience.
  • Pace matters: the inner child needs time to trust. Weekly or biweekly containers over 8–12+ weeks allow processing and integration.
  • You don’t need full conscious memories for healing—feelings and triggers guide the work.

Approaches: Andrew vs. Lavinia (comparison)

  • Andrew Lynn
    • Works with men and adults broadly; many clients are fathers.
    • Emphasizes nervous-system regulation, somatic release, repressed emotion, and integration.
    • Typical one-on-one program: 12 weekly sessions as a container; faster change possible when clients can connect to bodily sensations.
    • Offers group healing experiences to scale access.
  • Lavinia Brown
    • Works exclusively with mothers; action- and goal-oriented.
    • Uses inner-child reparenting, menstrual-cycle awareness, and triggered-based tools.
    • Sessions often spaced two weeks apart (allows deeper practice/integration); provides 24/7 access between sessions for support and modeling the inner-parent role.
    • Focuses on teaching mothers to receive care as much as to be the caregiver to their inner child.

How the healing process typically looks (practical steps)

  1. Notice your triggers: identify situations that create disproportionate emotional reactions.
  2. Track the feeling back: ask when you’ve felt similar fear/rejection/anger before (often in childhood).
  3. Somatic/subtraction work: connect inward and release stored energy—this is often non-verbal, bodily emotion.
  4. Reparenting (integration): when a wounded part releases, the present adult listens and gives the tailored reassurance/validation that child part needed (“I see you were scared when…,” not just “You’re safe”).
  5. Practice and maintenance: nightly or daily inner-child check-ins, using simple words/actions until the inner child learns to receive.
  6. Move into action: once integrated, translate meaning into life changes (relationships, career, parenting style).

Practical tips & starter exercises

  • Start with triggers: write down 1–3 moments this week when you felt out of control; note sensations (chest, stomach, tightness).
  • Nightly inner-child exercise (5–10 minutes): check in with yourself, ask “How are you?” listen, label the feeling, and offer a validating line that fits (not generic reassurance).
  • Body scan: notice where the emotion sits; breathe toward it; allow any movement/tears/sounds to occur without analyzing.
  • If you can’t access memories, work with present triggers—the child is signaled by the reaction.
  • If you struggle to receive love, practice being the recipient (let someone or a recording speak kind, specific validation to you).

Common concerns addressed

  • “I don’t remember my childhood”—you can still work with triggers and bodily sensations; memories often emerge as safety increases.
  • “Is this therapy?”—coaching differs by being goal-oriented, action-based, and often focused on bodily healing and integration; many clients complement or follow therapy with this work.
  • “How long will it take?”—12 weeks is a common container, but pace depends on dissociation level and body connection; deeper dissociation requires more bridge work.

Notable quotes

  • “When your brain knows what you want to do, but you can't do it, it's the way that children feel a lot of the time.” —Janet (summarizing the childlike quality of adult triggers)
  • “Do the trauma work first… a cake analogy: if the cake isn't cooked, the icing won’t stick.” —Andrew (on prioritizing trauma work before applying parenting strategies)

Resources & next steps

  • Lavinia Brown: LaviniaBrown.com (free workbook available). Instagram: @LaviniaBrownCoaching
  • Andrew Lynn: AndrewLynn.net. Instagram: @AndrewLynn
  • Practical immediate step: begin tracking triggers this week and try a short nightly inner-child check-in.
  • For group options or lower-cost scaling, look into Andrew’s group healing program (details on his site); Lavinia provides free worksheets/tools on her site.

Sponsors & episode notes

  • Episode contains sponsor reads (Monday.com, Wayfair, ButcherBox, Brooklyn Bedding, MIDI Health).
  • Host: Janet Lansbury; show: Unruffled.

If you want a concise checklist to start (3 actions for this week), here it is:

  1. Record three moments when you felt disproportionately triggered and note bodily sensations.
  2. Do a 5-minute nightly inner-child check-in (ask, listen, label, offer one validating sentence).
  3. Download Lavinia’s free workbook or visit Andrew’s site to explore group options if you need guided support.