Overview of How Long Gone — Episode 916: Melissa Auf der Maur
Hosts Chris Black and Jason Stewart welcome musician/photographer Melissa Auf der Maur (Hole, Smashing Pumpkins) for a wide-ranging conversation about her new memoir Even the Good Girls Will Cry (out March 17), an accompanying photo book and museum exhibit, life upstate in Hudson, NY, her music career, writing process, relationships with fellow 1990s rock figures, and perspectives on addiction, psychedelics, rock vs. pop, and adulthood.
Episode snapshot
- Hosts: Chris Black & Jason Stewart (Talkhouse — How Long Gone)
- Guest: Melissa Auf der Maur — bassist, photographer, author
- Main promo: Melissa’s memoir Even the Good Girls Will Cry (publishes March 17); companion photo book from DelMonico/DAP and an AGO Toronto exhibit.
- Tone: conversational, anecdotal, reflective, often playful and candid.
Key topics covered
- Quick pop-culture riffs to open: Dakota Johnson Calvin Klein ad, celebrity fashion, tech product names, Amoeba LA conversion to a “bathhouse.”
- Melissa’s background:
- Born/raised in Montreal; dual citizenship; parents were radical, culturally influential figures (mother a translator/ dramaturg, father a columnist/activist).
- Early art training and photography; first love was fine-art photography before touring as a bassist.
- Music career highlights:
- Played bass in Hole and with Smashing Pumpkins; joined Hole with minimal rehearsal and large festival performances; reflections on fame and large crowds vs smaller shows.
- Ongoing friendships and reconciliations — notably renewed relationship with Courtney Love (they weren’t speaking for 15 years but are now on better terms); Melissa sang on Courtney’s new record.
- Writing and archives:
- Wrote her memoir largely from memory (intensive outpouring), cut ~200 pages to fit the book; describes the process as a necessary purge.
- Photographic archive: ~15,000 negatives scanned and catalogued; photo book ties into museum exhibit at the AGO in Toronto.
- Upstate life and business:
- Lives in Hudson, NY (reclaimed schoolhouse / factory turned arts venue); runs events, DJ nights, and a wedding business that funds arts programming.
- Drives a Rivian pickup for practical, venue-related needs.
- Addiction, mental health, and psychedelics:
- Long engagement with people affected by addiction; compassion for artists who struggle, but rejects romanticizing self-destruction.
- Personal psychedelic use: early LSD experience (age 13), intentional use of psychedelics (including ayahuasca for opening the book-writing process); advocates careful, intentional use and cautions most people against it.
- Views on culture:
- Rock music’s function: argues visceral rock carries a necessary emotional outlet—“rock music saves lives” as a frequency for catharsis—and worries mainstream lacks that rage-driven outlet today.
- Thoughts on tech figures (Elon Musk) and electric vehicles: admires engineering achievements but critical of negatives; owns a Rivian and supports sustainable living.
Notable insights & quotes
- On writing the memoir: “I had to purge it — get the fuck out of me.” (Describes memoir as necessary catharsis.)
- On archives and photography: scanned and catalogued thousands of negatives to make a time-capsule visual companion to the book.
- On addiction and artists: rejects glamorizing self-destruction; emphasizes compassion and context for people who struggle.
- On rock vs pop: rock provides a visceral outlet for rage, pain, and catharsis that mainstream pop often doesn’t supply.
- On reconciliation with Courtney Love: relief and gratitude that someone who “should be dead” is alive and making new music.
Main takeaways
- Melissa Auf der Maur’s memoir is a candid, archival-driven effort to process and reclaim her 1990s music life; it’s both personal purge and cultural document.
- The photo book + AGO exhibit amplify the memoir — previously unseen images and fan-focused sections form a visual time capsule.
- Melissa has transitioned from touring musician to Hudson-based cultural entrepreneur (venue/events) and writer, balancing commercial work (weddings) with experimental arts.
- She approaches addiction and psychedelics with nuance: empathy for those who suffered, clear boundaries about romanticizing self-destruction, and intentional use of psychedelics in select circumstances.
- She believes there’s still urgency and life-saving power in visceral rock music, and she’s invested in preserving and communicating that energy.
Practical next steps / recommendations
- Read/listen to Even the Good Girls Will Cry (memoir) on/after March 17 for Melissa’s full account.
- Seek out the Melissa Auf der Maur photo book (DelMonico/DAP) and check AGO Toronto listing for exhibit dates and tour info.
- If interested in the 1990s scene, listen to Melissa’s work with Hole and Smashing Pumpkins and explore her solo material.
- For context on addiction/mental-health themes raised, consult licensed resources (Melissa’s conversation also plugs therapeutic resources on the podcast).
- If you’re planning events in the Hudson area, search Melissa’s Hudson venue and Dart Collective (sponsor mention) for vendor ideas.
Episode extras & sponsors mentioned
- Sponsors/read-aheads in the episode: BetterHelp (therapy), ShipStation (e-commerce fulfillment), Dart Collective (wedding DJs), The Run-Through with Vogue (podcast).
- Melissa also mentioned an upcoming museum exhibit and a photo book from DelMonico/DAP.
Who this episode is for
- Fans of 1990s alternative rock, Hole, Smashing Pumpkins, and Melissa Auf der Maur.
- Readers interested in music memoirs, archival photo projects, and behind-the-scenes stories from the alternative-rock era.
- Listeners curious about creative transitions (musician → photographer → author → venue operator) and candid takes on addiction, reconciliation, and midlife creativity.
Episode ends on a warm, upbeat note—Melissa plugs her book and the hosts encourage listeners to check local independent bookstores and streaming formats.