273. How To Get and STAY Rich with Vivian Tu (Your Rich BFF)

Summary of 273. How To Get and STAY Rich with Vivian Tu (Your Rich BFF)

by Her First $100K

56m•February 3, 2026
Listen to Episode

Overview of Her First $100K — Episode 273: How To Get and STAY Rich with Vivian Tu (Your Rich BFF)

This episode features Vivian Tu (founder & CEO of Your Rich BFF, former Wall Street trader, NYT bestselling author) in conversation with Tori Dunlap (Her First $100K / Financial Feminist). They shift the money conversation from “paying the bills” to building long-term financial freedom: reframing money as a tool to buy time, security, and choice; designing infrastructure so money works for you; and breaking inherited money narratives, optimization anxiety, and the all‑or‑nothing mindset. Vivian’s new book Well Endowed (richbffbook.com) — explained as teaching everyone to build a personal “endowment” — is the episode’s practical anchor.

Key takeaways

  • Paying bills and saving is the starting point, not the finish line. Real financial freedom comes from systems and infrastructure that make money work for your life.
  • Money should be used as a tool to buy time, freedom, and security — not status or performance.
  • Childhood money narratives and trauma shape adult money behavior (scarcity mindset, status signaling). Identify and reframe those stories.
  • Build infrastructure (automation, accounts, legal documents, insurance) to reduce decision fatigue and protect future-you.
  • Ask before buying: “Do I want this or do I want people to know I have it?” — that single question cuts through a lot of wasteful spending.
  • High earners often feel poor (“HENRYs”: High Earners, Not Rich Yet) because of cost-of-living, lifestyle inflation, and lack of a plan.
  • Kids are expensive — childcare is often the largest cost, and unpaid labor disproportionately affects women's lifetime earnings.
  • The worst financial mistake is doing nothing — the all-or-nothing mindset prevents progress; small consistent wins compound.
  • Self-talk and “financial therapy” matter: treat yourself like your best friend, and speak kindly to reduce shame and paralysis.

Topics discussed

  • Vivian’s childhood buffet story and inherited optimization behavior
  • The “price vs. value” realization when caring for family (closing laptop and prioritizing time)
  • Meaning behind the book title Well Endowed (endowment = invested resources that grow)
  • What comes after financial basics (the 201/2.0 roadmap): infrastructure, automation, wills, trusts, insurance, custodial accounts, retirement accounts, investing
  • Strategic spending audit and the optics vs. utility distinction (Birkin bag example)
  • HENRYs: why six-figure incomes don’t guarantee wealth
  • Building “hotels” (systems) vs. staying in hotels (consuming luxuries)
  • Parenting costs, childcare supply issues, and prenup strategies to compensate lost earnings
  • Gendered unpaid labor, social narratives about status, and marketing’s influence on consumption
  • The all-or-nothing problem (Reshma Saujani coding anecdote) and the value of incremental progress
  • Importance of financial education and treating money as a part of self-care

Notable quotes and insights

  • “Paying your bills and saving isn’t the finish line. It’s the starting point.”
  • “You can know the price of everything but the value of nothing.”
  • “Money is the tool to unlock everything in your life.”
  • “Do I want this or do I want people to know I have it?” — strategic spending filter.
  • “The only wrong move is not having the conversation.” (about prenups, estate planning, partner money talks)
  • “Kids will make you poor” — blunt but practical framing to plan for childcare and lost earnings.
  • “The worst mistake you can make is doing nothing.”

Actionable checklist (do this this week / month)

  • Do a quick strategic spending audit:
    • For next purchase, ask: “Do I want this or do I want people to know I have it?”
    • Identify two recurring status/optics purchases and decide to reallocate one month’s cost to investments.
  • Build or improve infrastructure:
    • Open/verify high-yield savings for short-term goals.
    • Automate contributions to retirement accounts (401k, Roth IRA).
    • If saving for a home, consider CD/timed vehicles to keep cash productive.
  • Legal & protection basics:
    • Create/update a simple will, healthcare directive, and power of attorney (use online templates if necessary).
    • Compare insurance policies (health, life, disability, homeowner/renter) and pick the right coverage.
  • Partner & family conversations:
    • Script a money conversation or prenup discussion (write goals, what each partner values).
    • Discuss childcare plans and career trade-offs; quantify potential lost earnings and plan for them.
  • Start small and repeat:
    • Make one small investing action this week (buy an index fund, set up automatic investments).
    • Do one 15-minute money task daily (review subscriptions, consolidate accounts, check net worth).
  • Improve self-talk:
    • Try a short daily affirmation or “financial pep talk” to reduce shame and build momentum.

Who should listen / benefit most

  • HENRYs (High Earners, Not Rich Yet) feeling stuck despite good income.
  • Anyone who has the basics (debt reduction, emergency fund) and wants the next step toward financial freedom.
  • New parents or prospective parents planning childcare and career trade-offs.
  • People trapped by status-driven spending who want practical ways to reallocate money to meaningful goals.
  • Anyone who struggles with money anxiety, perfectionism, or paralysis around financial decisions.

Practical resources mentioned

  • Book: Well Endowed by Vivian Tu — preorders and free bonus resources at richbffbook.com (trust/will outline, buy vs rent calculator, relationship equity calculator, wedding/divorce planning checklists, kid finance guides).
  • Vivian's platform: Your Rich BFF (financial education and community).
  • The hosts also recommend treating money education like therapy—invest time in learning.

Final framing from the episode

The goal is not to hoard wealth for status but to create an “endowment” — a pile of invested resources that grows and buys you time, security, and the ability to make choices. Systems, conversations, and incremental action beat perfectionism. Build your infrastructure now so future-you doesn’t have to stress — and ask before you buy whether the purchase serves your life or your image.