Overview of We Can Do Hard Things — Watch OUR 1ST FILM (feat. Meg Fowley & Andrea Gibson)
In this episode Glennon Doyle sits with writer/poet Meg Fowley to talk about Meg’s partner, the poet Andrea Gibson: their life, Andrea’s four‑year cancer diagnosis and “awakening,” the last days and moments around their death, and the new documentary Come See Me in the Good Light (out Nov 14 on Apple TV). The conversation is intimate, poetic and practical — examining love, grief, language limits, the design of a deathbed, after‑death signs, and how art can help people lean into loving better.
Episode summary — what happens in the conversation
- Introductions: Meg (Megan) Fowley defines herself as a writer who recently lost her partner Andrea Gibson (they/them), a beloved poet.
- Relationship arc: Meg and Andrea were friends in the poetry community, fell in love on a dance floor, and were together ~11 years. Andrea’s ovarian cancer diagnosis came roughly four years before their death; about 2.5 years in it became incurable.
- The “miracle”/awakening: After diagnosis Andrea shifted — becoming more aligned with who they wanted to be (more present, less anxious). Meg describes this as an “awakening” or alignment where the gap between their true self and lived self closed.
- The last weeks and days: A rapid decline followed a hospital visit; hospice was recommended. The home became a crowded, loving place with friends, family, former partners, and caregivers present. One of Andrea’s last clear statements was, “I fucking loved my life.”
- Designing the death experience: Meg describes her role as “curator” — arranging people, light, music, and comfort. She also recounts the hospice plan to sedate Andrea and her grief about losing the chance for more verbal goodbyes.
- Signs and the lightning motif: Andrea’s work includes the line “you better be lightning.” A dramatic hail/lightning storm occurred during Andrea’s passing; afterward Meg experienced what felt like signs (a painting on a TV with a faint lightning bolt, songs, dreams), which she interprets as mutual, creative communication.
- The documentary: Come See Me in the Good Light captures Andrea’s life — showing humor, goofiness and everyday love that public appearances hadn’t revealed. Meg says the film became a love story and that the footage helps people witness what they lived.
- Afterlife, grief, and continuing work: Meg describes feeling Andrea’s presence, reduced fear of death, and a responsibility to continue Andrea’s newsletter Things That Don’t Suck. Glennon reads a tribute to Andrea at the episode’s close.
Key takeaways / themes
- Awakening through illness: The diagnosis catalyzed a profound realignment for Andrea — living more fully in line with values they’d long pursued in therapy and spiritual study.
- Presence as caregiving: Meg emphasizes the value of being present and responsive rather than escaping into future/fear — both during illness and in everyday love.
- Death can be curated: Meg intentionally shaped Andrea’s final environment (who was there, music, light) and found meaning in making the moment as “beautiful” and fitting as possible.
- Language limits, but poetry helps: Both guests note language often falls short; Andrea’s poetry gave people new ways to feel and see themselves and others.
- Art as witness and healer: The documentary and Andrea’s work give people permission to feel different emotions simultaneously (grief + joy), and to act more lovingly toward others.
- Signs and ongoing relationship: Meg shares examples of post‑death “communications” (dreams, lightning, images) that feel mutual and intimate, changing her sense of death and ongoing connection.
Notable quotes & lines (verbatim or close)
- “I fucking loved my life.” — Andrea (one of the last full things they said)
- “The miracle was the last four years.” — Meg, describing the gift of time and alignment after diagnosis
- “Come back to me as lightning.” — Meg’s first line in a poem written after Andrea’s death (and a recurring image)
- “You better be lightning.” — Title/line from Andrea’s book You Better Be Lightning
- “To die is to be reincarnated in those we love while they are still alive.” — Line cited from Andrea’s poem (Love Letter from the Afterlife)
- On the film’s impact: people “want to call their people and tell them they love them” after watching
Practical / emotional lessons for listeners
- If you’re supporting someone with serious illness: presence, attention to environment (light, music, who’s with them), and listening — even in small gestures — matter deeply.
- For grieving people: signs and visits can feel mutual; writing, naming, and noticing sensory details help integrate loss while honoring ongoing connection.
- Art as tool: Poems, documentaries, and honest storytelling can shift how communities grieve and love; they can motivate people to act with more care.
- If you want to help: watch and share Come See Me in the Good Light (nov 14 on Apple TV), read Andrea’s poetry (You Better Be Lightning, etc.), support people to be present rather than “fix” feelings.
What the documentary does / who should watch
- Come See Me in the Good Light centers Andrea’s living — humor, artistry, and the messy, luminous intimacy of life during illness.
- The film is framed as a love story and a practical, emotional witness — it’s for people grieving, caregivers, fans of poetry, and anyone who wants a gentler template for how to love and end well.
Practical details & follow‑ups mentioned
- Film: Come See Me in the Good Light — releases Nov 14 on Apple TV.
- Andrea’s books recommended: You Better Be Lightning (and other volumes).
- Meg continues Andrea’s newsletter Things That Don’t Suck and is keeping alive parts of Andrea’s work and sensibility.
Closing / emotional note
This episode is a close, tender conversation about living and dying intentionally. It balances grief and gratitude, candid sorrow and the small, electric moments that make love and loss feel holy. For listeners, it’s both an elegy and a practical model — how to love loudly, curate care, and let art teach people how to feel more fully.