Overview of We Can Do Hard Things — In Honor of All Survivors: Tarana Burke
This episode (part 1 of a two-part conversation) features Glennon Doyle interviewing Tarana Burke — activist, longtime survivor-advocate, and founder of the Me Too movement — about her new memoir Unbound and the lived experience that shaped her work. The episode opens by situating the conversation in the wake of the Jeffrey Epstein revelations and naming solidarity with survivors. The discussion moves through Tarana’s childhood sexual assault, the cultural rules that make children blame themselves, faith and racial consciousness as survival tools, the role of literature (Maya Angelou) in freeing her, the coexistence of joy and trauma, and how survivors can safely reclaim sexuality and pleasure.
Key takeaways
- Survivor shame is often produced by social rules given to girls (spoken and unspoken). Without explicit messages that adults are responsible when abuse happens, children internalize blame.
- Communities that protect children can also create double binds that silence survivors — especially in Black and brown communities where additional structural risks (immigration status, policing) complicate reporting.
- Faith (Catholic practice in Tarana’s case) and political/racial consciousness both played critical, complementary roles in her survival and formation as an activist.
- Literary connection matters: reading Maya Angelou gave Tarana language and permission to imagine a life where pain and joy can coexist.
- Naming trauma aloud (confession, journaling, speaking the truth) is both liberating and foundational to healing and organizing — Tarana describes the power of saying “I was raped” and still being alive afterward.
- Joy is not transactional or only for the privileged. Tarana’s “joy journal” practice is a radical way to document and claim everyday pleasures alongside ongoing pain.
- Survivors can — and should be able to — explore healthy sexuality. Tarana describes a relationship in which she safely explored pleasure for the first time, which helped reclaim her body from shame.
Notable quotes and insights
- “If one of these rules are broken… it’s not your fault. If somebody breaks that rule, it’s always the adult’s fault.”
- “The protection provided by your community is what saves you but the need to protect your community is what silences you.” — succinct framing of the double bind many Black and Brown survivors face.
- On confession and truth-telling: articulating the secret makes it real — “I was still here. And then… I was still standing with my truth on the outside.”
- On joy and trauma coexisting: the question that changed Tarana — “If what I saw was real, how could a body that holds that kind of pain also hold joy?”
- Practical reclaiming: keep a “joy journal” to document small, nontransactional pleasures and prove joy exists in your life.
Topics discussed (by segment)
- Introduction and context: Epstein revelations, solidarity with survivors; link to ep. part 2 and related reporting (Glennon’s Epstein Files and interview with attorney Brad Edwards).
- Tarana’s childhood assault: memories, internalized rules, shame, and the fear of “getting someone in trouble.”
- Cultural messaging for girls: spoken rules (don’t go with strangers) vs. unspoken rules (dress codes, policing of girls’ bodies) and their harmful effects.
- Family, faith, and racial consciousness: Catholic rituals (confession) as both burden and balm; grandfather’s teachings in Black liberation texts as critical to perspective and survival.
- Literary rescue: discovering Maya Angelou and how books provided a secret companion that normalized her experience.
- Teenage years: performing “good girl” vs. rage and coping; how adults punish behavior without asking about root causes.
- College, sexuality, and safety: the story of Ciotis (named differently in the book), dancing as a safe exploration of pleasure and reclaiming consent/pleasure.
- Joy practice: why documenting joy is a political and healing act.
- Grief: Tarana shares that a close early love/friend (Ciotis) recently passed — a moment of personal mourning in the conversation.
Actionable recommendations (for parents, allies, and survivors)
- Tell children clearly: if an adult or older child violates a boundary, it is not the child’s fault — adults are responsible.
- Avoid framing safety talk as threats to the child (“If someone touches you I’ll kill them”) — such messages can make children feel the responsibility to protect adults or fear causing harm by telling.
- Create explicit, safe language about boundaries and consent that children can use without fear of repercussions.
- Name and normalize both joy and pain: encourage practices (like a simple “joy journal”) to document everyday pleasures alongside acknowledging trauma.
- Support survivors by listening without immediate judgment and resisting culturally motivated silencing (shame, protecting reputation).
- Provide and promote accessible resources (culturally competent counseling, legal help, trusted community advocates), especially in communities where law enforcement is feared or harmful.
Resources & context mentioned
- This is part one of a two-part conversation (part two link in episode notes).
- Tarana Burke’s memoir: Unbound (noted as a New York Times bestseller and widely praised).
- Glennon’s related journalism: two-part Epstein Files series and interview with Brad Edwards (links in show notes).
- The episode is produced by Treat Media; social channels are noted in the outro.
Tone and significance
- The episode is reverent, intimate, and urgent. Glennon repeatedly emphasizes Tarana’s importance as an organizer and truth-teller; Tarana’s tone moves between vulnerability, clarity, and fierce joy. The conversation centers survivor dignity and practical wisdom for changing how families and communities respond to abuse.
If you want the rest of the conversation, look for part two in the episode show notes — it continues deeper into Tarana’s memoir and organizing work.