Overview of Pet Love: The Closest We Come to Unconditional Love?
This “Best Of” episode of We Can Do Hard Things is a warm, funny, and deeply tender conversation about how pets can ground us, soften us, and teach us what unconditional love might actually look like. Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle share stories about their dogs, cat memories, and Tish’s hamster, using those relationships to explore presence, grief, joy, and the way animals can interrupt our anxious, productivity-driven lives in the best possible way.
Main Themes
Pets as a doorway back to presence
The hosts argue that animals pull people out of rumination and back into the moment. Dogs, cats, and even a hamster become daily reminders to:
- slow down
- play
- rest
- go outside
- feed and care for another being
- stay emotionally engaged
The central idea is that pets help us return to our bodies and the present tense.
Unconditional love goes both ways
The conversation explores two different versions of love through Glennon’s dogs:
- Hattie loves everyone immediately and endlessly, modeling what it feels like to be loved without earning it.
- Honey is more aloof and selective, teaching Glennon how to love something that doesn’t always “give back” in obvious ways.
Together, they represent two sides of pet love: being loved freely and loving freely.
Pets disrupt the “spreadsheet religion”
A recurring joke is Glennon’s “religion of the spreadsheet” — the idea that life should make logical, efficient sense. Pets undermine that logic:
- they cost money
- they require time
- they create mess and inconvenience
- they do not “add up” in practical terms
And yet, the emotional payoff is undeniable. The episode frames pets as proof that some of the most meaningful parts of life are not quantifiable.
Stories and Examples
Seamus the golden retriever
Amanda Doyle shares how she eventually agreed to adopt Seamus, a golden retriever who entered the family through a foster-to-adopt process. What began as reluctant openness became full-on devotion.
Key takeaway:
- Seamus brought delight into a life that already felt full and overwhelming.
- He became a reason to pause, play, and experience more joy rather than wait for life to become easier first.
Honey and Hattie
Glennon describes her two dogs as central to her emotional life.
- Hattie: affectionate, exuberant, emotionally generous
- Honey: more stubborn, less demonstrative, but deeply lovable
She says they are the only “people” who truly understand her, and that they teach her about unconditional love in opposite ways.
Tish’s hamster, Biscuit/Beatrix
The family’s hamster story becomes a comedic highlight. Tish lobbied hard for the hamster, and eventually the whole family got invested. Abby becomes oddly attached to the hamster, watching her at night and participating in “bath bonding time.”
The hamster becomes a symbol of:
- family compromise
- tenderness
- absurd delight
- how small creatures can create big emotional bonds
The fish named Jesus, Mary, and Joseph
The hosts tell a hilarious and sad story about childhood pet fish, including one fish dying after being overfed by a visiting child. That story becomes their entry point into a larger discussion about death, grief, and why loving something that will not last forever is still worth it.
Listener Questions and Reflections
How do you handle grief when pets die?
A listener asks how to cope with the short lifespan of pets. The hosts respond that pets are “death in training” — they help people, especially children, begin to understand:
- love and loss
- ritual and grief
- the reality that attachment includes impermanence
They emphasize that it’s important not to hide death with lies or distractions, but to let grief have a container and a process.
Do pets improve mental health?
A nurse who left a traumatizing job says adopting kittens has made her feel mentally better than she has in a long time. The hosts affirm that pets can support mental health by:
- reducing stress
- increasing oxytocin
- lowering blood pressure
- helping people stay grounded and regulated
They also note that pets can be especially healing for people with anxiety, overthinking, or eating disorder recovery because animals are not socially conditioned to judge.
A toddler uprising at the zoo
A listener shares that her son asked where the animals’ mommies were at the zoo, which led to a wave of toddler outrage. The hosts celebrate the child’s instinct to question what he saw and to resist systems that felt wrong or sad. It becomes a playful endorsement of letting children trust their own moral perception.
Key Takeaways
- Pets often become the emotional center of a family.
- Animals can make people more present, less anxious, and more connected.
- Love does not need to be permanent to be real or transformative.
- Caring for pets teaches grief, ritual, patience, and joy.
- Some of the most healing relationships are the least “productive” in a practical sense.
- The everyday care of animals can function like a spiritual practice: feed, walk, rest, return.
Notable Insight
One of the episode’s strongest ideas is that pets don’t just live on the outside of family life — they can become the center of it. They create shared stories, common rituals, and a kind of continuity that lasts long after they’re gone.
The episode’s overall message is simple but powerful:
Animals help us stay human by bringing us back to love, presence, and the ordinary miracle of caring for one another.