Overview of (BEST OF) CHER: Life Advice We’ll Never Forget
In this We Can Do Hard Things “best of” episode, Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and Amanda Doyle revisit their conversation with Cher, who comes across not just as an icon, but as remarkably candid, funny, and grounded. The discussion covers her early life, the rise and unraveling of Sonny & Cher, the realities of emotional control and financial abuse, parenting and Chaz’s transition, anger, resilience, and how she keeps reinventing herself late into life. The episode is less a celebrity interview than a masterclass in surviving, leaving, learning, and continuing forward.
Key Themes and Takeaways
1. Cher is iconic, but what stands out most is her humanity
The hosts emphasize that Cher’s greatness isn’t only her fame, voice, or style—it’s how openly human she is. She speaks plainly about mistakes, fear, regret, and growth without trying to sanitize her story.
2. She describes an emotionally controlling relationship with Sonny Bono
Cher reflects honestly on how Sonny & Cher was both creatively liberating and personally damaging. On stage, they felt equal and successful; off stage, she was increasingly controlled and isolated.
- She was prevented from talking freely to others.
- She felt trapped, especially while traveling and working.
- She describes the relationship as emotionally abusive and complicated, not simple or one-dimensional.
3. A life-saving realization: “I don’t have to jump, I can leave”
One of the episode’s most powerful moments is Cher describing a dark period when she thought about ending her life. Standing on a balcony, she realized she had another option: she could leave the relationship.
That insight becomes one of the episode’s clearest takeaways for listeners in harmful situations:
- Narrow thinking can make escape feel impossible.
- Naming another option can be life-changing.
- Telling someone and asking for help matters.
4. Lucille Ball gave Cher the advice that changed everything
Cher shares the advice she received from Lucille Ball when she asked what to do about leaving Sonny:
- “Fuck him. You’re the one with the talent.”
Cher later passed that kind of truth on to Tina Turner, creating a powerful lineage of women helping women survive and reclaim themselves.
5. Money, power, and control are deeply connected
Cher speaks candidly about how little she understood money early on, especially when she was poor and relying on others. She explains how Sonny controlled the finances and how she later discovered that a company named after her—Cher Enterprises—did not actually belong to her.
Key points:
- Financial abuse can be hidden inside “business” arrangements.
- Poor people are often taught to trust systems they don’t fully understand.
- Women need to learn the language of money and not be ashamed to ask questions.
6. Cher’s parenting story is honest, not polished
She speaks openly about how she initially reacted badly when Chaz came out and later when he transitioned. She does not frame herself as perfectly enlightened—she frames herself as scared.
Her message to parents:
- Fear for your child is real.
- You may not get it right the first time.
- What matters is continuing to learn, repair, and love.
- She now has a strong, joyful relationship with Chaz.
7. Her relationship to anger is unusually slow-burning
Cher says she is slow to anger and traces that to her biological father, who had a long fuse and calm temperament. She jokes that when she finally does get angry, people should run.
She also shares a righteous-anger story about standing up for a roadie who mistreated her friend Rosie, showing that her calmness does not mean passivity.
8. Her philosophy is basically: keep moving
Cher compares life to a bumper car:
- hit a wall,
- back up,
- turn,
- keep going.
This becomes the episode’s central metaphor for her life:
- not a smooth path,
- not perfection,
- just persistence and adaptation.
9. She never stopped reinventing herself
Cher talks about:
- becoming an actress after one chapter ended,
- working with directors like Robert Altman,
- continuing to sing and act across decades,
- and still wanting new creative projects.
Her next dream is an album with Alexander, and she expresses real excitement about continuing to make art.
Notable Quotes and Moments
- “If I could turn back time…” — the episode’s playful opening nod to Cher’s legacy
- “Fuck him. You’re the one with the talent.” — Lucille Ball’s advice to Cher
- “I don’t have to jump, I can leave.” — one of the most powerful survival realizations in the episode
- “I’m a rich man.” — Cher’s mother’s unforgettable advice about money and self-worth
- “Life is like driving a bumper car.” — Cher’s metaphor for resilience
- “I never thought of it as courage. It was just not giving up.” — Cher’s own framing of her strength
Bottom Line
This episode is a moving portrait of Cher as a woman who survived control, rebuilt herself repeatedly, and kept choosing motion over collapse. The conversation offers practical emotional wisdom about leaving harmful relationships, learning money, parenting through fear, and embracing imperfection. Above all, it leaves the listener with Cher’s core lesson: keep going, even when you’re scared.