Overview of Watch What Crappens on The Valley Reunion Part 1
Ben Mandelker and Ronnie Karam recap Season 3, Episode 19 of The Valley, focusing on the reunion’s most explosive and absurd moments: Andy Cohen’s relentless location-shaming, fresh drama around Jax Taylor, custody and dating fallout for Brittany Cartwright and Michelle, and a running string of jokes about Danny Booko’s height, appearances, and “three under three” family life. As usual, the hosts blend plot recap with sharp commentary on the cast’s behavior, fashion, and repeated refusal to move on from old beefs.
Reunion Setup and Andy Cohen’s Opening Jabs
The cast arrives in full force
The episode opens with the reunion stage set-up and immediate teasing about who got stuck where on the couch. The hosts especially enjoy Andy’s hostile tone toward the cast, which makes the reunion feel like a roast.
“The Valley” as a location joke
A big recurring bit is Andy “poor-shaming” and “distance-shaming” the cast by mocking their Valley-area lives, commutes, and filming locations. Ben and Ronnie amplify this by joking about how long it supposedly takes to get from places like Santa Clarita to the studio.
Fashion commentary
A major early topic is Jesse wearing sneakers with a suit, which sends the hosts into a long riff about how dated and corny the “suit + sneakers” look has become.
Biggest Cast Topics
Brittany Cartwright, Jax Taylor, and custody tension
The reunion digs into Brittany’s separation from Jax and the current custody arrangement for Cruz. The hosts note:
- Brittany has primary custody
- Jax still appears to be involved in a messy, ongoing legal and emotional situation
- Brittany says Jax’s personality is the real issue, not sobriety alone
The hosts also joke about Jax’s endless burner accounts, his apparent obsession with staying relevant, and the fact that the show keeps feeding him attention.
Jax’s behavior and reputation
The recap highlights how Jax continues to insert himself into everyone’s business, including texting cast members and trashing them online. Ben and Ronnie mock the idea that he’s trying to rebrand himself while still acting like a chaos gremlin.
Brittany’s relationship with Brandon
The reunion revisits Brittany’s short-lived relationship with Brandon, and the hosts joke about how obvious the red flags were. The cast asks whether Brittany moved too quickly and whether her “picker” is broken.
Also discussed:
- Brandon allegedly received money from Brittany
- Brittany says she’s working with a narcissistic abuse coach
- The hosts sympathize with Brittany more than they usually do, noting that her season felt more emotionally honest after separating from Jax
Michelle and Jesse’s breakup aftermath
Michelle’s post-breakup dating life comes up, including the rumored relationship with Dr. Dre. Jesse reacts with jealousy and defensiveness, while the hosts point out how absurd it is for him to be acting shocked about Michelle moving on.
They also note that:
- Jesse and Michelle both repeatedly involve their daughter in adult relationship drama
- Jesse still seems deeply bothered by Michelle dating other men
- The hosts are skeptical of the way the cast keeps framing Michelle as though she “won” some glamorous prize, when the whole situation is much messier
The Dr. Dre / NDA conversation
Michelle refuses to get into details, and the hosts note the irony of the cast acting scandalized about an NDA when the alleged relationship is with a major celebrity. They also point out the show’s tendency to dance around sensitive allegations instead of naming the bigger issue directly.
Kristen, Luke, and the donor/paternity confusion
A long stretch of the recap centers on Kristen Doute, Lala, and the timeline around Sosa’s conception. Andy brings up the sperm donor angle, and Ben and Ronnie riff on the idea that sperm is “hardy” and easy to freeze, joking that Luke still seems like the likely father.
The conversation is mostly played for comedy, with the hosts emphasizing how tangled Kristen and Lala’s lives remain.
Danny Booko’s “short king” reunion spotlight
Danny’s presence becomes a running joke:
- Andy pokes at his height
- The hosts note his intense, furrowed-brow expression
- His “great day to have a great day” line gets mocked repeatedly
- The family’s “three under three” situation becomes a punchline, with the hosts joking that it may soon become “four under four”
They also comment on how small he appears on the reunion couch and how much he seems to want the spotlight despite the jokes about him.
Recurrent Comedic Threads
“Sparkle” and Brittany’s glow-up
The hosts circle around the idea of Brittany “getting her sparkle back,” tying it to her appearance, confidence, and post-Jax reinvention.
Meal trains, motherhood, and transactional friendship
There’s a funny but pointed discussion around Brittany’s postpartum support and a missed meal train, with the hosts noting how inconsistent the cast can be when it comes to showing up for one another.
Red flags and “picker” talk
A lot of the reunion’s conversation about dating becomes a wider joke about:
- love-bombing
- bad pickers
- trauma
- women being expected to ignore obvious warning signs
Ben and Ronnie keep turning these points into broader commentary on how the cast navigates relationships.
Main Takeaways
- Jax remains the center of chaos, even when he’s not physically dominating the reunion.
- Brittany’s split from Jax continues to define her storyline, but she appears more grounded than before.
- Michelle’s dating life is still messy, and Jesse is not remotely over it.
- Kristen and Lala’s lives are still entangled, especially around children and old relationship baggage.
- Danny Booko is the season’s surprise punchline, with his family size, posture, and mannerisms all becoming reunion fodder.
- The reunion is less about resolution and more about everyone rehashing old wounds while Andy leans into the chaos.
End of Part One
The recap ends just as the reunion is still getting warmed up, setting up more cast drama and probably even more Jax-related nonsense in Part Two.