Overview of You need a prenup (Vox — Today Explained)
This episode investigates why prenups—once seen as the preserve of the ultra‑wealthy—are becoming common among millennials and Gen Z. Through a couple’s personal story, reporting, interviews with legal experts and commentators, and cultural touchpoints (Reality TV, TikTok influencers, legal tech), the show explains what’s driving the trend, what modern prenups can include, and the tradeoffs couples should weigh.
Key takeaways
- Prenups are rising among younger couples, not just high‑net‑worth marriages. A 2023 Harris poll found 40% of millennials/Gen Z reported signing one (lawyers think that may overstate reality but confirm an uptick).
- Drivers: greater realism about divorce, children-of-divorce experience, financial independence of both partners, inheritance expectations (the “great wealth transfer”), and new low‑cost online prenup services.
- Legal tech/apps (e.g., Hello Prenup, First) have lowered cost and friction, making prenups accessible and normalized.
- Modern prenups include novel, contemporary clauses (social media penalties, embryo disposition, AI/chatbot considerations) but also retain classic elements (asset division, spousal support).
- Important cautions: prenups are complex legal documents; people can undersell their rights due to optimism bias or social pressure. Independent legal counsel and careful negotiation remain crucial.
Case study: Kara and Gregory (Florida)
- Married Dec. 2024; neither comes from extreme wealth; both have stock options and retirement accounts. Gregory had a prior divorce that produced significant financial fallout (taking loans, alimony), motivating caution.
- Kara proposed the prenup to reassure Gregory and codify what each brought into the relationship; they kept premarital assets separate and agreed to a 50/50 split on a business they plan to start.
- Social reaction: unmarried friends were surprised, married peers often already had prenups. They framed the prenup as both pragmatic and an expression of commitment: “I’m not here for the money.”
Why prenups are becoming mainstream
- Cultural shift: millennials/Gen Z tend to be more pragmatic about marriage and divorce—many grew up with family breakups or have seen the financial pain of divorce.
- Financial reasons: later marriage, accumulated individual assets (401ks, stock), and expectations of inheritances encourage protection of premarital property.
- Parental influence: some parents push children to get prenups, especially when significant family wealth or inheritances are anticipated.
- Tech and influencers: online services make prenups cheaper and faster; finance influencers (often women) promote prenups as “financial hygiene.”
What modern prenups can (and do) cover
- Traditional: classification of premarital assets, division upon divorce, spousal support/alimony terms.
- Contemporary clauses:
- Social media/image clauses: financial penalties for disparaging posts about an ex (set amounts per post).
- Embryo/IVF clauses: who controls embryos, who pays storage or treatment costs on separation.
- Infidelity clauses: must define “infidelity” carefully in contexts of ethical non‑monogamy and digital relationships.
- AI/chatbot interactions: lawyers warn chatbot conversations can be subpoenaed and could factor into custody/divorce cases.
- Odd/unenforceable terms: couples sometimes include motivational penalties (e.g., BMI targets) that judges are unlikely to enforce—sometimes they’re symbolic.
Pros and cons
Pros
- Creates certainty for how assets, debts, and inheritances will be handled.
- Protects parties from disproportionate financial harm (useful after prior divorce experience).
- Can improve communication about money and future plans; some view it as a responsible, loving act.
- Affordable options now available via online platforms.
Cons / risks
- Can feel unromantic or imply a lack of faith in the marriage; may affect relationship dynamics.
- Apps and templated agreements risk under‑negotiation or misunderstanding critical terms.
- Optimism bias: couples may agree to lopsided terms because they don’t truly expect divorce.
- Privatizes risks that might otherwise be addressed by broader legal or social reforms.
- Courts may void unfair or poorly executed agreements, but that process is costly and uncertain.
Practical recommendations (if you’re considering a prenup)
- Inventory assets, debts, and anticipated inheritances before drafting.
- Discuss goals openly: what each partner wants protected and why.
- Use independent counsel: each partner should get their own lawyer to review and negotiate terms.
- Be specific and updatable: define key terms (e.g., “infidelity”), include contingencies (embryos, business equity, digital assets), and consider review clauses if circumstances change.
- Avoid signing under pressure; make sure both parties fully understand the agreement.
- Consider mediation or financial counseling to surface long‑term expectations and avoid one‑sided deals.
Notable quotes and framing
- “This is just financial hygiene.” — a sentiment promoted by online finance influencers.
- Prenups reframed: not a lack of faith in marriage, but “the most loving thing you can do” by clarifying financial expectations.
- From the couple: “I’m not here for the money” — using a prenup to reassure a partner rather than as a barrier.
Final note
Prenups are evolving with technology and cultural shifts. They can be a useful tool to manage risk and clarify expectations, but they are legal documents with long-term consequences—treat them with the same care you’d give any major contract: think ahead, negotiate thoughtfully, and get independent legal advice.