Overview of How Generational Trauma Is Secretly Running Your Life | Dr. Mariel Buqué
This episode of The School of Greatness (host Lewis Howes) features Dr. Mariel Buqué, a clinical psychologist who explains how trauma—including intergenerational (epigenetic) trauma—shapes behavior, nervous-system responses, mental health, relationships, identity, and creativity. They define trauma, distinguish types (individual vs. generational), describe how trauma shows up in bodies and families, and offer practical nervous-system regulation tools and therapeutic frameworks listeners can use to begin healing and breaking cycles.
Key takeaways
- Trauma is an acute emotional (and nervous-system) response to an extremely stressful event; common responses map to fight / flight / freeze / fawn.
- Roughly ~65% of people in the U.S. will experience some trauma in their lifetime, but far fewer actively address it.
- Generational (intergenerational) trauma combines both biology (epigenetic transmission) and environment—stress signals and gene expression can be passed prenatally, creating predispositions to anxiety, depression, inflammation, etc.
- Trauma keeps people in survival mode, which shuts down cortical (creative, planning) functions and limits capacity for growth, creativity, and “abundance.”
- Many common mental-health presentations (depression, anxiety, ADHD-like symptoms) can have trauma as an undercurrent; healing trauma often reduces or resolves symptoms more fully than symptom-only treatments.
- Healing is a daily, holistic, mind–body–spirit process—not a single event—and can substantially reduce the chance of passing trauma forward.
Topics discussed
- Definitions: trauma, fight/flight/freeze/fawn, strong environments, explicit vs. implicit memory
- Prevalence of trauma and barriers to acknowledging it
- Generational trauma and epigenetics (prenatal cortisol, three generations in one body concept)
- How trauma shows up as chronic anxiety, depression, dissociation, memory gaps, ADHD-like symptoms, attachment problems
- The neuroscience/biology of survival mode and its impact on creativity and functioning
- Practical regulation practices (breathwork, humming, rocking)
- Boundaries and engaging with family members who trigger you without cutting them off
- Meaning-making, identity, imposter syndrome, scarcity mindset, and how to reframe experiences
- Therapeutic approaches: body-based work, family-tree/lineage work, integrated holistic healing
- Memory retrieval limits (explicit vs. implicit memory) and how trauma affects encoding/retrieval
- Social implications: unhealed trauma driving hostile policies, relationship dysfunction, cultural cycles
Notable quotes & insights
- “Trauma is an acute emotional response to a life event that is extremely stressful… directly connected to your nervous system.”
- “Intergenerational trauma is situated at the intersection of both nature and nurture.”
- “You have three generations in one body” (illustrating how prenatal stress and gene expression can affect offspring).
- “Healing is a lot of work. It sucks. It bends you and twists you into uncomfortable shapes, but it is incredibly worth it.”
- Dr. Buqué’s three truths to live by: You are more than what happened to you; healing is hard but worth it; it’s always a good day to start breaking the cycle.
Practical strategies & action steps (what to do now)
- Daily nervous-system regulation (commit to practice)
- Breathwork: at least 5 minutes of deep, slow, intentional breathing to allow the nervous system to “catch up.”
- Humming/chanting: activates parasympathetic (ventral vagal) response and supports rest & recovery.
- Rhythmic rocking: corporeal soothing reminiscent of womb/infant soothing; can be seated, standing, or lying down.
- Combine these practices as needed throughout the day until you feel steady.
- Boundaries with triggering family members:
- Use creative, personalized boundaries that preserve proximity without sacrificing safety.
- See family environments as “strong environments” and practice showing up differently (microscopic consistent changes can shift the environment).
- Mind–body integration for emotional change:
- Write down limiting thoughts and associated emotions.
- Actively challenge those thoughts (cognitive reframe) while doing body-based regulation to release stored fear.
- Meaning-making:
- Ask: “What did I learn from this event?” and “How can I use this to create new meaning or purpose?”
- Cultivate hope that meaning is possible; meaning fuels motivation to do difficult healing work.
- For identity / imposter syndrome / “don’t belong” feelings:
- Start with body-based calming (imagery, relaxation) so the person can access better cognitive framing.
- Ask empowering questions like “Who told you you don’t belong?” to externalize and examine internalized narratives.
- Therapeutic steps:
- Consider trauma-informed therapy that includes lineage/family-tree work, somatic approaches, and integration (not just symptom management).
- Understand that some conditions have strong genetic loadings (e.g., schizophrenia, bipolar)—healing can still improve functioning but may not “eliminate” all biological vulnerability.
- Financial & practical self-education:
- Build new skills (money management, systems) when scarcity mindsets persist—practical mastery decreases fear.
Useful clarifications about memory & trauma
- Explicit memory (facts, events) can be compromised when trauma prevents encoding into long-term memory; this explains childhood gaps and amnesia-like experiences.
- Implicit memory (sensory, bodily cues) often remains—smells, sounds, and sensations can trigger strong reactions even if explicit recall is absent.
- Some blocked memories can be partially recovered; others may be lost due to how they were encoded. Therapy often focuses on implicit-body work and integration rather than solely retrieving explicit memories.
Mental-health framing
- Common presentations: depression (global leading cause of disability), anxiety, ADHD-like symptoms, psychosis/dissociation (less discussed), complex trauma, reactive attachment disorder.
- Depression has inflammatory and lifestyle contributors (diet, immunology, stress).
- Traditional psychiatry often focuses on symptom management (medication). Dr. Buqué advocates for integrative work that addresses root trauma, nervous-system regulation, and lifestyle/meaning.
Resources & next steps
- Dr. Mariel Buqué: website drmarielbouquet.com (courses, newsletter — weekly coping skill), Instagram & TikTok: @DrMarielBouquet
- Start with 5 minutes of breathwork daily; add humming and rocking when possible.
- Journal one limiting thought + associated emotion; then write a challenge/reframe for that thought.
- If triggers or impairments are intense, seek trauma-informed therapy (somatic/attachment-informed clinicians).
Closing / Final insights
- Healing generational trauma is a long-term, daily integrative process (mind, body, spirit) that can reduce suffering for you and future generations.
- Practicing safety in the nervous system creates the space for curiosity, creativity, better relationships, and meaning-making.
- You are not defined solely by what happened to you; breaking the cycle is possible and necessary work for personal and societal wellbeing.