Overview of Doing It Anyway with Katty Kay
In this episode, Katty Kay speaks with Mika Brzezinski about confidence, self-worth, and the practical skills women need to advocate for themselves at work and in life. The conversation centers on Brzezinski’s “Know Your Value” philosophy, especially how to ask for a pay raise without apologizing, how to avoid the “good girl” trap, and why knowing your value matters far beyond salary negotiations. They also discuss office politics, being sidelined after maternity leave, managing stolen credit, and why younger women should remember that life has a “long runway.”
Key Themes and Takeaways
Know your value before you ask for more
Brzezinski argues that companies usually will not tell you to value yourself more—you have to do that work first. Her own experience signing a Morning Joe contract too quickly, for less than others, became the catalyst for writing Know Your Value.
- Track the data on your contributions.
- Be able to articulate what you bring to the table.
- Don’t confuse gratitude for a job with undervaluing yourself.
Asking for a raise is a skill, not a one-time event
The episode breaks down how women often undermine themselves in salary conversations by apologizing, oversharing personal hardships, or trying to imitate aggressive negotiation styles that don’t feel authentic.
What works:
- Lead with facts and accomplishments.
- State clearly what you want.
- Be willing to revisit the conversation if the answer is no.
- If possible, have leverage and be ready to walk away.
What doesn’t work:
- Apologizing for asking.
- Making the conversation about personal expenses or guilt.
- Acting angry or trying to copy someone else’s style.
The “good girl” trap holds women back
Brzezinski says many women are socialized to be agreeable, helpful, and self-sacrificing. In the workplace, that often translates into taking on “non-promotable tasks” like organizing birthday cards or office lunches instead of focusing on career-building work.
Her advice:
- Don’t let yourself get pigeonholed.
- Deflect extra tasks you don’t want to own.
- Focus on doing your core job exceptionally well.
- If you do extra work, make sure it benefits your goals.
Value applies to relationships, not just careers
A major point in the conversation is that “knowing your value” is not just about pay or promotion—it’s about how you show up in every relationship.
- In marriages, friendships, parenting, and work, people can’t read your mind.
- You need to say what you need and what you want.
- If you don’t advocate for yourself, you may end up resentful, unfulfilled, or undervalued.
Confidence grows through practice and failure
Both women emphasize that confidence is built like a muscle. Failure is part of the process, and learning to handle rejection or setbacks is essential.
- Expect some no’s.
- Keep going back with updated evidence.
- Use each attempt as practice.
- Don’t treat failure as proof you’re not capable.
Advice on Specific Workplace Challenges
If someone takes credit for your work
Brzezinski says address it directly and quickly with the person involved, not through gossip or indirect complaints.
- Don’t let it fester.
- Make sure your name is attached to your work.
- Build trust through direct, calm confrontation.
If you’re sidelined after maternity leave
Her advice is to signal availability and ambition clearly:
- Acknowledge the sensitivity around your return.
- State that you’re ready to reengage.
- Ask to be included in projects.
- Reframe your return as an asset to both work and family life.
A Bigger Message for Younger Women
Brzezinski closes with one of her strongest messages: women have a much longer runway now than previous generations. There is more time to reinvent, pivot, have a family, start over, or pursue a new dream.
- Don’t rush decisions out of fear.
- You are not on a short clock.
- Enjoy the process instead of constantly checking boxes.
- Build a life that lasts well beyond your 20s and 30s.
Bottom Line
This episode is a practical and motivating guide to self-advocacy. The central message: confidence is not about being fearless or loud—it’s about knowing your worth, asking clearly for what you deserve, and doing it anyway, even when it feels uncomfortable.