Overview of "Nicholas, You've Become A Doormat" (Ramsey Network)
A listener asks for help because they — as the designated account owner on a shared family cell-phone plan — have been covering the entire bill after two adult family members stopped paying their portions. The rest of the family knows, jokes about it at reunions, and the listener wants to preserve relationships while avoiding being taken advantage of. Hosts react strongly: this is enabling and a form of toxic codependency; the listener needs boundaries.
Main advice & takeaways
- You’re being taken advantage of — this is not a harmless family convenience but an unfair expectation placed on you.
- Don’t continue “gifting” from a place of resentment. If you’re resentful it’s not true generosity and it won’t fix the problem.
- The clean, practical fix is to end the shared plan and get your own account. That stops the ongoing financial burden and sends a clear boundary.
- If you want to give, do it intentionally and without resentment — or don’t give at all. Don’t keep loaning money you expect to be repaid when patterns show it won’t be repaid.
- There’s no compelling reason for adults in different households to remain on a single family plan — it’s messy and easily abused.
Recommended steps (practical action items)
- Tell the family: you’re closing the account and moving to your own phone plan. Keep it direct and short — e.g., “I’m getting my own plan. I can’t keep paying for this.”
- Immediately set up your own inexpensive plan (hosts suggested budget carriers — example given: Boost Mobile ~ $20/month).
- Stop covering others’ portions going forward. If you choose to offer help, make it a one-time, documented gift with no expectation of reimbursement.
- If you want repayment for past charges, you can ask — but be prepared to accept that you might not get it. The hosts lean toward cutting losses and preventing future enabling.
Notable quotes from the segment
- “Nicholas, you’ve become a doormat.”
- “We don’t gift when we’re resentful and we think it’s going to put a bandaid on it.”
- “They’re not laughing with you — they’re laughing at you.”
- “Just jump onto Boost Mobile. It’s like $20 a month.”
Why this matters (behavioral context)
- Shared finances among adults in separate households often create unhealthy dependencies and blurred boundaries.
- Joking about someone covering costs is a social sign the behavior is being normalized and exploited.
- Clear boundaries stop the enabling cycle and preserve relationships more sustainably than continuing to absorb costs.
Other notes
- The episode includes an ad for YRefi (private student loan refinancing) — unrelated to the caller’s issue but mentioned in the transcript.