Summary of My Mother-In-Law Stopped Paying My Husband’s Student Loans

Overview of My Mother-In-Law Stopped Paying My Husband’s Student Loans

A newlywed listener calls into Ramsey Network seeking advice after discovering her mother‑in‑law stopped making payments on her husband’s federal student loans. The unpaid loans harmed his credit score and jeopardize the couple’s plan to buy a house. The hosts diagnose both the financial and relational problems and give concrete steps to protect the couple’s household finances and move forward on debt payoff.

Key points and context

• Couple married about a year; currently on Baby Step 2 (debt payoff) and using the debt snowball.
• Husband’s college was allegedly paid by his mother, but it was funded by federal student loans in his name. Mom has stopped making payments and repeatedly says she “forgot.”
• Husband’s credit dropped significantly when the delinquency showed up; this threatens home-buying plans.
• Husband’s student loan balance ≈ $17,000. Wife’s federal student loans ≈ $12,000 (in SAVE/forbearance, interest still accrues). Other debts: wife’s vehicle ≈ $5,000, husband’s vehicle ≈ $9,000, credit card ≈ $9,000, plus furniture.
• Household income ≈ $7,000/month; savings ≈ $4,400.

Hosts’ diagnosis (relational + financial)

• Hosts suspect the mother‑in‑law may be acting passive‑aggressively (shame/pride: wants to be the one to “take care of her son” but also embarrassed and may be pushing the couple to assume the debt).
• Regardless of motive, the immediate problem is that the missed payments are hurting the household’s credit and future plans.
• Responsibility: even though the loans are in the husband’s name and were promised to be paid by mom, the couple needs to protect their household first.

Practical advice and recommended actions

1. Take over the loan payments now to stop further credit damage. Do not wait for mom’s “forgetting” to change.
   • Communicate calmly: “Thanks for what you’ve done — we’re going to take this from here.”
2. List every debt individually (smallest balance to largest) — don’t lump them together.
3. Have a focused debt meeting tonight: agree priorities and roll with the debt snowball method (attack smallest balance first).
4. Preserve a $1,000 starter emergency fund immediately.
   • With $4,400 in savings: keep $1,000, and use the remaining ~$3,400 toward debt reduction.
5. Continue the budget discipline (EveryDollar app / nightly transaction checks). Keep the credit card cut up and off-wallet.
6. Monitor federal loan accounts: confirm status, whether they are delinquent, and how interest is accruing; consider contacting the servicer to set payments under the couple’s control if necessary.
7. Protect the relationship: be firm but gracious with the mother‑in‑law to avoid turning repayment into a family conflict. If desired, treat any repayment from her as a gift rather than formal family loan to reduce relational strain.

Financial specifics & cautions mentioned

• Federal forbearance/SAVE options can pause payments but interest may still accrue — balances can grow unexpectedly.
• The husband likely signed loan paperwork when he was a minor/young adult — responsibility legally rests with him.
• A dip in his credit score can negatively affect mortgage eligibility, so timely action is important.

Notable lines & tone

• Hosts were assertive that the couple must “protect your household.”
• One host: the mother‑in‑law likely wants the couple to forcefully say “we’ll take it,” implying shame/pride dynamics.
• Lighthearted quip used to close: “politicians are the only people that when their hands are cold, they put their hands in your pocket.”

Bottom line / Takeaway

This is primarily a household‑protection issue: take control of the payments, get clear on every debt, keep a $1,000 starter emergency fund, and attack debts with the debt snowball. Handle the mother‑in‑law conversation calmly but decisively to stop further credit damage and keep the couple’s homebuying goals on track.