Overview of Just Found Out My Girlfriend Is Pregnant and I'm Scared
A caller (24-year-old college student from Oregon) tells Ramsey Network he discovered his girlfriend (about 21) is five weeks pregnant. They've been together 12 months, live three hours apart, and both feel scared. He has no consumer debt and a sizable college fund ($50k–$90k). She lives with roommates, has limited family support, and appears to be receiving government assistance while working in a case-management role. The host gives practical, short- and medium-term financial and relationship guidance: verify medical/insurance details, consider moving together, prioritize cash savings and work, get counseling before any marriage decision, and keep the pregnancy private until it's medically safer to share.
Key points / main takeaways
- Immediate priorities are practical: verify the pregnancy medically, confirm health insurance/Medicaid coverage, and create a living plan so the couple can be near each other.
- Financially, focus on stacking cash (short-term work/sidemissions) rather than long-term degree outcomes. The host suggests pausing school and working full time if needed.
- Don’t rush into marriage; do premarital counseling to determine long-term compatibility.
- Maintain privacy early—many people wait until ~12 weeks to tell others.
- Use available community and government resources (insurance, assistance, church/community supports) while building a household plan.
Background details (what we know)
- Caller: 24, pursuing a business administration degree with ~2 years left; unsure about career direction (interest in architecture/psychology previously).
- Girlfriend: ~21; living with roommates; limited family involvement; appears to receive government assistance and may work as a case manager or in a related role.
- Relationship: Together ~1 year, no history of major conflict, were considering a future together.
- Distance: About three hours apart; his family lives six hours away.
- Finances: Caller has a college fund (~$50k–$90k) but little liquid cash; no other notable debt reported.
Host’s advice / recommendations
- Verify pregnancy and medical/insurance status ASAP (is she covered by parents, employer, or Medicaid?).
- Create a living plan so the couple is geographically together if parenting is the plan.
- Prioritize building cash reserves: caller should take full-time work + side jobs; girlfriend should work as long as she can before late pregnancy.
- Consider pausing school temporarily to focus on income and preparation.
- Seek premarital counseling or relationship evaluation before committing to marriage—don’t rush that decision.
- Keep the news contained until at least around the 12-week mark for medical privacy and clarity.
- Use local community supports (churches, nonprofits) and explore budget-friendly healthcare alternatives if needed.
Immediate action items (7 practical next steps)
- Get a medical confirmation of the pregnancy and set up prenatal care.
- Verify health insurance/eligibility (girlfriend’s coverage, Medicaid, or alternatives).
- Decide whether to move closer and draft a short-term housing plan (who moves, timeline, cost).
- Calculate immediate cash needs and start stacking savings (caller: consider pausing school and working full-time + side gig).
- Determine the girlfriend’s work capacity over the pregnancy and line up employment or benefits.
- Find local support resources: community organizations, churches, WIC/Medicaid, childcare info.
- Begin premarital counseling or relationship coaching to assess long-term compatibility before making marriage plans.
Longer-term considerations
- Childcare and work balance: plan whether one parent stays home, uses daycare, or shares care with family.
- Education vs. income trade-off: finishing the degree may help long term, but short-term income is critical now.
- Legal and financial planning: consider paternity acknowledgement, custody expectations, and budgeting for child-related costs.
- Emotional/mental health: ongoing counseling for stress, relationship adjustment, and parenting readiness.
Notable quotes / framing the situation
- “You’ve got to be in stork mode—stocking up cash and figuring out the life plan.”
- “Don’t do anything really crazy until the doctor says.”
- Recommendation to “start premarital counseling just to see if you guys are a fit.”
Topics discussed
- Pregnancy confirmation and timing
- Health insurance and medical costs
- Living arrangements and moving in together
- Work, income, and pausing education
- Government assistance and community resources
- Premarital counseling and relationship readiness
- Privacy and when to tell others
If you want a distilled checklist you can hand off to the couple (e.g., budget template, list of local benefits to check, sample timeline for moving and savings), say so and I’ll produce that.