How Do I Tell My Girlfriend I Lied About How Much Money I Make?

Summary of How Do I Tell My Girlfriend I Lied About How Much Money I Make?

by Ramsey Network

9m•November 17, 2025
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Overview of "How Do I Tell My Girlfriend I Lied About How Much Money I Make?"

This Ramsey Network episode features a caller (Trey) who told his girlfriend, Shayla, he had about $2,000 in credit card debt but quickly accumulated more. He earns roughly $50,000/year; Shayla has about $8–9k in student loans. Hosts coach him to be honest, stop using credit, build a budget, and repair trust before moving forward with marriage plans.

Caller story — what happened

  • Trey initially told Shayla he owed about $2,000 on credit cards.
  • Within a short time (a couple of weeks) the balance rose to roughly $4,000–$5,000 due to purchases after a recent move (bed, cookware, other household items).
  • He charged these purchases on credit because he felt a time crunch — needed furniture quickly and couldn’t borrow or delay.
  • Trey and Shayla have been discussing marriage; she’s listening to the show and is financially more transparent.
  • Trey has been “secured” with her (back together) for about three months after an on/off period.

Main takeaways

  • The amount (while important) is secondary to the principle: secrecy and dishonesty erode trust in a relationship.
  • Short-term urgency often drives poor money decisions; pause and consider alternatives before using credit.
  • Immediate steps should be honesty, a repayment plan, and stopping further credit use.
  • Budgeting and communication are essential if they plan to get engaged/married.

Practical advice given on the show

  • Tell her now: be direct and vulnerable. Hiding or delaying worsens the trust issue.
  • Explain exactly what happened (timeline, purchases, why it happened) and take responsibility.
  • Show a concrete plan: budget, repayment schedule, and behavioral changes.
  • Cut up the credit cards and stop adding to the balance.
  • Cash-flow future purchases; use cheaper temporary options (air mattress, borrow furniture) when urgent.
  • Use a budgeting tool (EveryDollar recommended) and follow basic debt-payoff steps.
  • Delay engagement/wedding spending until finances are on the same page and debts are managed.

Recommended action steps (to-do list)

  1. Tell Shayla ASAP — admit the misreporting and apologize.
  2. Prepare a short explanation and show the numbers:
    • Original amount told: $2,000
    • Actual current balance: ~$4–$5,000
    • Income: ~$50,000/year
  3. Present a repayment plan:
    • Monthly payment goal and timeline to pay off the cards
    • Cut cards (or freeze them) and commit to cash-flowing purchases
  4. Build a budget together (use EveryDollar or similar):
    • Create an emergency buffer, list all debts, and prioritize payoff
  5. Change behavior to avoid future urgency-driven debt (delay purchases, borrow, buy used)
  6. Revisit engagement/wedding plans only after financial transparency and a plan are in place

Sample script Trey can use

“Shayla, I need to be honest about something. When I said I had $2,000 on credit cards, that was true then, but I didn’t tell you when it increased. I now owe about $4–5k. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner — I felt embarrassed and rushed after moving. I’ve cut up the cards and made a repayment plan: [describe monthly payment and timeline]. I want us to be honest and on the same team, and I understand if you’re upset. I’m committed to fixing this and will share the budget and progress with you.”

Notable quotes / short insights

  • “Urgency is where the debt industry loves you.” — Be wary of crisis-driven purchases.
  • “If you love someone, go to them and tell them the truth.” — Vulnerability protects long-term trust.
  • “Secrets start to… erode trust so fast.” — Small hides can grow into relationship damage.
  • “Cut up the credit cards.” — Immediate behavioral change to stop the problem from worsening.

Quick resources

  • EveryDollar app (recommended budgeting tool)
  • Immediate behavior: freeze or cut cards, start a zero-based budget, list debts and income, and set up a repayment timeline.

Bottom line: Admit it, apologize, show a clear repayment and budgeting plan, stop using credit, and rebuild trust through transparency and consistent action before proceeding with big relationship/financial decisions.