"How Do We Get Our 25-Year-Old To Grow Up?"

Summary of "How Do We Get Our 25-Year-Old To Grow Up?"

by Ramsey Network

9m•November 8, 2026
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Overview of How Do We Get Our 25-Year-Old To Grow Up?

This Ramsey Network call centers on a married couple struggling over how to handle their 25-year-old son, who has only recently gotten his first job after years of being supported by his parents. The father wants to stop financially enabling him so he can grow up, while the mother wants to keep paying his expenses out of fear that he’ll face hardship like she did growing up poor. The advice given is firm: continuing to rescue an adult child is harming his confidence, creating entitlement, and delaying his ability to become independent.

The Core Problem

The parents are divided on enabling vs. helping

  • The father believes their son needs healthy struggle and independence.
  • The mother wants to keep covering rent and other costs because of her own painful childhood.
  • The hosts identify this as a major parenting and marriage issue, not a small disagreement.

The son is being delayed by overprotection

  • He has not had to truly struggle.
  • He only recently started working, and has been heavily supported for years.
  • The concern is that he’s becoming emotionally and financially dependent.

Key Advice Given

Stop projecting the mother’s past onto the son

  • The hosts argue the mother’s poor upbringing is not the son’s reality.
  • She is responding to her own trauma rather than his actual needs.
  • Her success came through struggle, and the same principle should apply to him.

Enabling is damaging his confidence

  • Paying for everything sends the message: “You can’t make it on your own.”
  • That dynamic weakens a young man’s sense of capability and initiative.
  • The hosts say repeated rescue creates entitlement and reduces resilience.

Adults need frustration to build resilience

  • One host describes entitled kids as having a “fear of frustration.”
  • If parents solve every discomfort, the child never learns how to cope.
  • The message: learning to handle frustration is essential to adulthood.

Recommended Next Steps

Get aligned as a couple

  • The father and mother need to be on the same page.
  • The issue is important enough that it should not be treated casually.

Set a clear timeline for independence

  • Don’t leave the situation open-ended.
  • Create a written plan with a move-out date and expectations.
  • The son should know exactly what is changing and when.

Have a direct conversation with the son

  • Tell him clearly what the parents want for him.
  • Encourage him to take initiative for himself.
  • The goal is to help him launch, not keep him dependent.

Main Takeaways

  • Overhelping an adult child can quietly destroy confidence.
  • Struggle is not cruelty; it can be a necessary part of growth.
  • Parents should not confuse love with rescuing.
  • A 25-year-old who is still being financially carried is at risk of remaining emotionally stuck.
  • The healthiest move is to let him take responsibility and face real life.