Overview of How Do I Convince My Fiancé To Make More? (I Make $40,000)
In this Ramsey Network call, Holly asks how to encourage her fiancé to increase his income without making him feel criticized. The response shifts quickly from career advice to a much bigger warning: the couple is financially entangled before marriage, which the host says is a major risk. The core message is that Holly should stop trying to “manage” her fiancé’s income from a fiancé role, keep finances separate until marriage, and focus first on getting out of debt and protecting herself legally.
Main Discussion Points
Holly’s situation
- Holly is 22; her fiancé is 25.
- She makes about $40,000–$45,000 take-home and he makes about twice that.
- They have been combining finances for about a year and a half.
- Their shared debts include:
- Two vehicles
- A credit card
- A car-hauling trailer
- They are planning to marry in about a year and want to save to build a house.
Her concern about his income
- Holly says her fiancé works hard and is a body shop technician.
- He’s been told he is likely making the most he can at his current shop.
- She wants to encourage him to:
- Seek a higher position
- Consider a different shop
- Eventually become a shop manager or even start his own business
- He sometimes appreciates the encouragement, but other times feels unappreciated.
Ramsey’s Advice
Don’t try to “lead” from the fiancé position
- The host’s main point: she doesn’t have leverage yet because they are not married.
- Until marriage, they are still in the “negotiation phase,” so trying to push him toward career changes is unlikely to land well.
- A fiancé can encourage; a spouse can meaningfully plan and build together.
Focus on separate financial responsibility
- The strongest advice in the segment is to stop combining finances before marriage.
- The host warns that co-owning debt, vehicles, or property before marriage creates legal and financial exposure.
- He strongly advises:
- Keep money separate while dating/engaged
- Do not buy a house together before marriage
- Do not co-sign with someone you are not legally tied to
If married, the conversation changes
- Once married, the advice would be to frame the conversation positively:
- “I see leadership potential in you.”
- “You could run your own shop someday.”
- “Let’s build a five-year plan.”
- The host encourages the idea of:
- Learning business skills
- Saving toward a future business
- Reading about entrepreneurship
- He notes that being a skilled technician and being a business owner are different skill sets.
Major Warnings Given
Legal and financial risk before marriage
- The host repeatedly warns that they are acting like a married couple without legal protection.
- He says they are essentially in a general partnership, which can create serious problems if things go wrong.
- He gives examples of worst-case scenarios:
- Breakup with shared debt
- Death without a will
- Owning property tied to the fiancé’s family or liabilities
The broader lesson for listeners
- Do not combine finances while dating.
- Do not buy property or take on shared debt before marriage.
- Co-signing is especially dangerous.
- Once married, shared planning makes sense; before that, it’s a risky legal mess.
Key Takeaways
- Holly’s question about helping her fiancé earn more is secondary to the bigger issue: they are financially entangled too early.
- The host believes her fiancé may be doing fine where he is and may not need to chase more income unless he wants that path.
- A better approach would be:
- Keep finances separate until marriage
- Pay off debt
- Let him decide his own career goals
- Revisit long-term planning after marriage
- The host’s bottom line: get married first, then build together.
Tone and Style
- The response is blunt, urgent, and highly cautionary.
- The host repeatedly emphasizes risk, using strong language to drive home the danger of mixing finances before marriage.
- The advice combines relationship guidance, financial planning, and legal warning.