Summary of Family Estrangement Is on the Rise. Are Politics to Blame?

Overview of Family Estrangement Is on the Rise. Are Politics to Blame? (The Political Scene)

This episode of The Political Scene (host Tyler Foggett) features Anna Russell, a New Yorker contributing writer who reported on rising family estrangement and “no contact.” They discuss what estrangement looks like, how common it is, how politics and the pandemic factor in, the role of therapy and online communities, and whether reconciliation is possible. Russell shares findings from interviews and experts and reflects on how reporting the story while becoming a parent shaped her perspective.

Definitions and scope

• Estrangement exists on a spectrum:
  • No contact: explicit cutoff — no calls, texts, or visits (often with an emergency exception).
  • Low contact: reduced or heavily managed contact (occasional cards, holiday appearances, limited interaction).
• Prevalence: some estimates place ~27% of Americans as estranged from at least one relative. Research is still early, but many experts think rates are rising.
• Online communities (TikTok, Reddit forums for estranged adult children) provide language, support, and normalization for people choosing distance.

Main drivers of estrangement

• Clear-cut causes: physical/sexual abuse and severe neglect — widely understood as legitimate reasons to cut ties.
• More subjective causes: “toxic” or “narcissistic” family dynamics, long-term emotional harm, or deeply mismatched worldviews.
• Political and pandemic-related issues:
  • Politics (including the Trump era) and contentious public debates are factors for some families.
  • Pandemic disagreements — especially around vaccination and social-distancing practices — produced tangible ruptures (e.g., family members refused to vaccinate and therefore could not attend events).
• Typical arc: many people report a long pattern of small conflicts culminating in a “final” incident (the straw that breaks the camel’s back) rather than a single spontaneous dinner-table argument.

Role of therapy, culture, and social media

• Changing norms: shifting views on what counts as harmful behavior (e.g., physical discipline once tolerated is now often seen as abusive).
• Therapy’s influence: increased therapy use has helped people name and evaluate harmful dynamics; therapists sometimes encourage independence and boundary-setting — which can contribute to decisions to separate.
• Social media/forums: provide community, terminology, and validation for estranged people, making separation feel less taboo and more feasible.

Reconciliation: likelihood and dynamics

• Mixed evidence:
  • Some clinicians (e.g., Joshua Coleman) report higher chances of reconciliation when parents proactively seek family therapy, offer specific apologies, and respect children’s boundaries.
  • Other clinicians (e.g., Sherry Campbell) see few reconciliations among clients already cut off and processing loss.
• Many estranged adult-child communities are reluctant to reconcile, believing it’s safer to maintain distance.
• For parents, estrangement produces a complex, ongoing grief without clear closure and can be experienced as identity loss in later life.

Reporter perspective and takeaways

• Anna Russell: After reporting before and after becoming a parent, she found cutting off contact rarely had unambiguous benefits. Some people feel relief after cutting ties, but grief, sadness, and ambivalence are common. She generally believes limited contact is often preferable to complete no contact — when it’s safe and feasible — but recognizes choices are deeply personal.
• Uncertain trend: It’s unclear whether estrangement will continue to rise; persistent acrimonious public debates likely exacerbate tensions, but outcomes vary by family.

Practical recommendations (for parents, adult children, and mediators)

• If seeking reconciliation:
  • Write a very specific apology that acknowledges the child’s grievances and demonstrates understanding.
  • Invite family therapy and be prepared to respect concrete boundaries about frequency and modes of contact.
• If setting boundaries:
  • Be explicit about non-negotiables (e.g., vaccination requirements to attend events).
  • Consider “low contact” strategies (limited topics, agreed-upon logistics) as a middle ground.
• For holiday gatherings:
  • Focus on shared neutral interests to keep conversations civil (set topic limits beforehand if needed).
  • Prepare in advance how to respond to volatile subjects and when to remove yourself.
• Seek professional support: therapy can help both sides process grief and plan safe boundaries, whether reconciliation is desired or not.

Notable quotes and soundbites

• “No contact is what it sounds like.” — Anna Russell, describing the clearest form of estrangement.
• “By some estimates, 27 percent of Americans are estranged from at least one relative.” — reported prevalence.
• “There is a strong bias in our culture toward keeping families together.” — on social expectations that complicate explaining estrangement to others.
• Russell’s reflection: cutting off contact “rarely” had a lot of positives; many people still experience sadness and loss after severing ties.

Where to read more

• Anna Russell’s article (reported on in this episode): “Why So Many People Are Going No Contact With Their Parents” — available at newyorker.com.
• Look for clinical commentary from family-therapy experts (e.g., Joshua Coleman) for strategies on reconciliation and boundary-setting.