Overview of Love Hurts: The Moth Podcast
This special Valentine's episode (guest-hosted by Anna Martin of the New York Times' Modern Love podcast) presents three true stories recorded live at The Moth about love’s pain, the ways we process loss and heartbreak, and how connection and storytelling can lead to healing. Between personal narratives, the episode includes a short conversation with Moth director Jennifer Hickson about shaping love stories, plus sponsor spots and show credits.
Episode structure & credits
- Host (guest): Anna Martin (Modern Love podcast)
- Director/interview: Jennifer Hickson (conversation segment)
- Stories and storytellers:
- Patricia Dunphy — a bereavement story about losing a long-term partner to glioblastoma
- Peter Aguero — a comic/romantic college anecdote about asking someone out (and longterm outcomes)
- Rita Brent — coming out, a failed marriage used for survival, and later finding love and family acceptance
- Production: The Moth podcast team (producers and leadership credited in-episode)
- Call-to-action: The Moth Pitch Line — record a two-minute pitch at themoth.org or call 877-799-6684
Story summaries
Patricia Dunphy — Holding hands through love and loss
- Relationship spanned about two decades; Patricia recounts ordinary, joyful moments (vacations, family events) centered on holding her partner Alan’s hand.
- Alan developed glioblastoma (terminal brain cancer). Patricia describes caregiving, the slow decline, and the acute grief after his death.
- She describes the physical and emotional aftermath ("didn't know what to do with my hands"), intense mourning (keening), and eventual return to life: small gratitudes, new sources of touch (daughter and granddaughter), and the realization that immense grief exists because there was immense love.
- Core message: Pain of loss is bound to the depth of love; healing can open one to new connections while honoring what was lost.
Peter Aguero — Awkward courage, one phrase at a time
- Set in mid-90s college theater/sketch-comedy context. Peter is socially awkward but persistent in asking people out.
- Tells a comic, self-aware scene where he literally asks Sarah (nicknamed “Dr. Fine”) to sit on his lap and spends the night trying to charm her into coming home with him using playful pitches.
- He later uses a technique of asking permission to ask someone out (“Would it be OK if I asked you out sometime?”) to reduce pressure.
- The story ends warmly: the tentative advances turned into a long-term relationship (they live together; she becomes his wife), and he reflects on the many roles people play in our lives (co-stars vs. cameos).
- Core message: Vulnerability and persistence—awkward as they may be—can lead to real connection.
Rita Brent — From closet to comedy stage to chosen family
- Rita grew up Black in Mississippi; early life included same-sex attraction kept private due to church culture. She joined the Army National Guard band and married a man (G Joe) — partly influenced by religious pressure and the hope of "normalcy."
- The marriage deteriorated; Rita felt constrained and longed to be with women. They divorced after a few years.
- She came out publicly on stage during a comedy set in her hometown (a bold, memorable line that earned applause and surprised family). Her mother, initially shocked, ultimately listened and evolved.
- Rita later met Frida (an artist), fell in love, and they married (a Zoom wedding during the pandemic). Over time her mother warmed to Frida; acceptance followed.
- Core message: Authenticity can be painful to claim but can free both you and those close to you; love can transform families.
Conversation: Storytelling + love (Anna Martin & Jennifer Hickson)
- Rehearsal and narrative shaping help storytellers process and make sense of emotional experiences.
- Jennifer notes Love Hurts slams are perennial favorites; tone differs regionally (New York comedic bent vs. Midwest more tragic).
- Themes from their chat: love is valiant, painful, and generative; hearing others’ stories gives perspective and reassures us that “it will be okay.” Storytelling functions as a tool for reflection and recovery.
Notable quotes & memorable lines
- Patricia: “I never would have felt that pain if I hadn’t felt that love.”
- Jennifer Hickson (paraphrase): Loving again after pain is valiant — getting back up is beautiful and human.
- Peter: His creative pickup lines and tactic — “Would it be OK if I asked you out sometime?” — illustrating permission as a social lubricant for vulnerability.
- Rita (stage reveal): “The real reason me and my husband got divorced is because I forgot to tell him I liked women.”
Themes & takeaways
- Love hurts, but hurt and grief are often the price of deep connection; they testify to what mattered.
- Storytelling is therapeutic: shaping and telling true stories helps process emotion and offers communal context for private pain.
- Vulnerability and persistence matter: awkward attempts at connection can turn into long-term relationships.
- Authenticity can be frightening in unsupportive environments, but asserting truth can lead to liberation and sometimes new acceptance from family.
- Small gestures of touch and presence (holding hands, a daughter reaching over, a mother buying Gucci soap) can be meaningful steps in healing and acceptance.
Practical info & resources
- Want to tell a Moth story? Pitch at themoth.org or call 877-799-MOTH (877-799-6684). The Moth listens to every pitch.
- For more episodes and show info: visit themoth.org.
Sponsors & episode extras (brief)
- Episode contains sponsor reads/ads for Daily Look, Vistaprint, Alma (mental health platform), the UPS Store, Quantum Fiber, and others. These are woven into episode breaks.
Produced by The Moth podcast team; all stories are true as remembered by the storytellers.