Overview of Stanford Psychologist: 7 Small Things You Can Do Right Now to Enjoy Life More
In this episode of the Mel Robbins Podcast, Mel Robbins talks with Stanford psychologist and researcher Dr. Kelly McGonigal about the science of joy, resilience, and how to feel like yourself again — even during grief, stress, or chaos. The core message is simple but powerful: joy is not a luxury or a reward for when life is perfect; it’s a survival resource that helps you want to be alive, stay connected, and keep going. Dr. McGonigal explains that you do not need to overhaul your life to feel better. Instead, you can use seven free, built-in resources you already have: your body, brain, attention, instincts, emotions, choices, and relationships.
Key Takeaways
- Joy is not the opposite of hardship. It exists alongside pain, loss, fear, and uncertainty.
- Stress is not your body betraying you. It’s often your brain and body trying to help you cope with something that matters.
- The goal is not constant happiness. It’s to build the capacity to feel meaning, connection, hope, and aliveness in ordinary and difficult moments.
- Small actions matter. A walk, a song, a memory, a text, or a shower can meaningfully change your state.
- Joy is relational. We often feel better when we connect, help, celebrate, or simply let others help us.
The 7 Free Resources You Can Use Right Now
1. Your Body
- Put a hand on your heart or notice your breath.
- Use movement as a “state change”: stand up, stretch, walk, dance, wiggle, or take a short walk.
- Dr. McGonigal describes exercise and even small movement as a way to release “hope molecules” from muscles that improve resilience and mood.
2. Your Brain
- Your brain is always making meaning.
- Bring to mind memories that remind you:
- you are not alone,
- you have gotten through hard things before,
- people care about you,
- change is possible.
- Even a tiny “win” can be reinterpreted by the brain as evidence that progress is happening.
3. Your Attention
- Attention is limited, so you have to choose what to notice.
- Deliberately look for:
- something beautiful,
- evidence someone cared for you,
- something that made life better,
- anything that reminds you of love or hope.
- Dr. McGonigal suggests ending the day by naming one highlight to counter the brain’s tendency to scan for danger.
4. Your Instincts
- Trust what you love “beyond reason” — music, books, crafts, nature, hobbies, pets, games, etc.
- These aren’t frivolous; they often meet deep human needs for comfort, wonder, play, and identity.
- If it reliably lifts you up, it’s worth honoring.
5. Your Emotions
- Emotions are signals, not verdicts.
- Hopelessness can mean: the current strategy isn’t working, not that the goal is impossible.
- Ask:
- What is this feeling trying to tell me?
- What needs to change: my approach or my goal?
- Avoid turning a momentary shutdown into a global belief that life won’t get better.
6. Your Choices
- Choose actions that are likely to create joy, meaning, or connection — even if you don’t feel like it yet.
- Examples:
- send an encouraging text,
- put on a song you love,
- make beauty for someone,
- do something kind,
- join the dance floor, even reluctantly.
- Choosing the action reinforces your agency and often lifts your mood in the process.
7. Your Relationships
- Let people in. Ask for help.
- Sharing what you’re going through is not a burden; it can be a gift to both sides.
- Joy grows when we:
- support others,
- receive support,
- celebrate other people’s wins,
- meet joy with joy.
- Relationships are resources in both hard moments and good moments.
What Dr. McGonigal Says About Stress
- Stress symptoms like a racing heart, tension, or heightened alertness are often the body mobilizing energy for something important.
- In a stressful moment, instead of asking, “How do I get rid of this feeling?” ask:
- What matters most here?
- What action would reflect my values?
- The body and brain often try to protect you; the key is learning to work with that response instead of judging it.
Practical Actions You Can Start Today
- Take a 2-minute walk.
- Put on one song you love and move.
- Text someone you care about.
- Recall one memory that proves you’ve survived hard things.
- Name one beautiful thing you noticed today.
- Let someone help you.
- Do one small thing that makes someone else feel seen or appreciated.
Final Message
The episode’s biggest theme is that joy is a form of courage. It doesn’t deny pain; it helps you live through pain without losing your sense of self, meaning, or connection. Dr. McGonigal’s closing message is that you are capable of joy, you deserve joy, and your joy can also be a source of joy for other people.
Bottom line: You do not need perfect circumstances to start enjoying your life. You can begin exactly where you are.