Overview of How to Become the Most Confident Version of Yourself & Step Into Your Power
Mel Robbins shares one of her most personally meaningful conversations with bestselling author and pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts, centered on healing, self-forgiveness, confidence, and reinvention. The episode explores how to stop defining yourself by past mistakes, how to build self-worth from the inside out, and how to step into a more powerful version of yourself by accepting your full story — not just the polished parts.
Main Takeaways
Your past does not disqualify you
Sarah opens up about becoming pregnant at 13 and having her son at 14, and how that experience fueled years of shame, isolation, and self-punishment. Her message is that painful experiences do not erase your value; they can become the source of wisdom, resilience, and purpose.
You cannot heal while punishing yourself
One of the most powerful ideas in the episode is that healing requires compassion, not constant self-attack. Replaying your mistakes and using them as proof that you are unworthy only keeps you stuck.
Stop trying to become someone else
Sarah describes spending years “trying on” different identities, relationships, and achievements in search of belonging. Real growth began when she stopped chasing external validation and started “fitting within herself.”
Power is a flow, not a performance
Sarah defines power as a combination of:
- Authenticity
- Resiliency
- Humility
In her view, power is not about domination or perfection — it’s about being grounded in who you are and allowing that truth to move through your life.
Confidence means knowing both your strengths and flaws
Confidence, as discussed in the episode, is not about appearance or flawless execution. It’s the ability to own your identity without being shaken by success, failure, shame, or other people’s opinions.
Core Metaphors and Tools
“Open the cupboard”
Sarah uses a powerful metaphor: your life is like a cupboard full of ingredients. Some are painful, some are messy, some are beautiful, but all of them belong to you. Instead of hiding what’s inside, you need to open the cupboard and work with what you have.
Meaning:
- Stop hiding your story.
- Use your pain, gifts, and lessons together.
- Build from what’s real, not from what you wish had happened.
“Look at the whole movie”
Rather than judging yourself by one embarrassing scene, Sarah encourages looking at the full story of your life. This creates compassion and helps you understand that your younger self was doing the best she could with what she had.
“Let it live outside of you”
Mel and Sarah discuss the importance of speaking your truth aloud. When you keep your dreams, pain, and identity bottled up, they take up space inside you and create pressure. When you say them out loud, you create room for growth and connection.
Change the precedent
If you’ve been the dependable, over-functioning, or people-pleasing version of yourself for years, others may expect that version forever. Sarah suggests that growth requires updating the expectations people have of you — and of yourself.
Notable Insights
- Self-worth is an inside job.
- Your history adds value; it does not subtract it.
- You can be a teen mom, a divorcee, an author, a speaker, and a woman of faith — all at once.
- Rest is essential. Sarah repeatedly returns to the need for naps, prayer, reflection, and stillness as part of staying grounded.
- There are more paths than the one you were told to follow. The episode challenges rigid ideas about womanhood, faith, success, and identity.
Memorable Lines
- “You cannot heal while you are still punishing yourself.”
- “Maybe I can just fit within myself.”
- “Power is authenticity, resiliency, and humility.”
- “Let it live outside of you.”
- “Open that cupboard.”
- “Look at the whole movie.”
- “Secure your wig.”
- A humorous but memorable reminder from Sarah to stay rooted in yourself, even when life feels chaotic.
Who This Episode Is For
This conversation is especially valuable if you:
- are struggling with shame, regret, or self-doubt
- feel stuck because of something from your past
- want to rebuild confidence and self-trust
- are learning how to set boundaries and change old patterns
- need a reminder that your life still has purpose and possibility
Final Thought
This episode is a deeply encouraging reminder that confidence is not built by pretending your past never happened. It’s built by facing your whole story with compassion, using every ingredient you’ve been given, and letting your power, truth, and purpose move freely through your life.