Overview of The Mel Robbins Podcast with Benny Blanco
In this episode, Mel Robbins talks with hit songwriter and producer Benny Blanco about how to overcome self-doubt, stop waiting for permission, and build a life through consistent action rather than perfect confidence. Benny argues that success comes from “showing up,” embracing failure as part of the process, and refusing to let embarrassment or rejection decide your future. The conversation blends career lessons, personal vulnerability, and practical advice for anyone who feels stuck, scared, or behind.
Main Themes and Takeaways
1. Start before you feel ready
Benny’s core message is simple: you will probably never feel fully ready.
- Don’t wait for the perfect idea, the perfect timing, or the perfect setup.
- Start with whatever you have and move the idea forward, even just a little.
- Momentum matters more than certainty.
2. Failure is normal, not fatal
Benny reframes failure as something to expect rather than fear.
- Every successful person has failed repeatedly.
- Most people are only focused on their own embarrassment, not your mistakes.
- If you forget about the failure, other people usually will too.
3. Rejection hurts less than you think
He pushes back on the idea that rejection should stop you.
- Rejection is uncomfortable, but usually temporary.
- The pain often feels bigger in your head than it actually is in real life.
- Quitting hands the opportunity to someone else.
4. Success requires consistency, not constant motivation
Benny emphasizes that the real skill is showing up even when you don’t feel like it.
- The work does not get easy just because you become successful.
- You may still wake up doubtful, tired, or discouraged.
- The difference is continuing anyway.
5. Balance matters as much as achievement
He also stresses that success is not just about career wins.
- A stable life includes health, relationships, and purpose.
- If one area gets overdeveloped at the expense of the others, life becomes unstable.
- Long-term happiness requires tending to all three.
Benny Blanco’s Personal Stories
Early hustle and “showing up”
Benny shared that he did not come from fame or wealth and had no special advantages. As a kid, he would:
- go to recording studios just to be near music people,
- ask if he could help,
- cold-call record labels,
- build relationships with assistants and interns,
- and keep those relationships for years.
His point: being in the room matters.
Learning to move past fear
Benny described his fear of flying, which started after a bad flight in 2009. He avoided planes for years, but eventually got on one again because his work required it and he wanted to live by what he preached. He admitted the fear is still real, but he does the thing anyway.
Turning “Eastside” into a breakthrough
He told the story of how the song “Eastside” took a long time to come together:
- multiple collaborators,
- repeated delays,
- creative and business complications,
- and a long climb before it became a hit.
The lesson: some of the biggest wins are slow, messy, and full of stops and starts.
His relationship with Selena Gomez
Benny used his relationship with Selena Gomez to make the point that timing matters.
- They knew each other for years before dating.
- He wasn’t emotionally or personally ready earlier.
- He had to work on balance and self-understanding first.
Practical Advice from the Episode
For overcoming self-doubt
- Ask: How bad was the rejection, really?
- Don’t inflate setbacks into life-ending events.
- Keep moving even if progress is tiny.
For making progress on a goal
Benny recommends a simple exercise:
- Write down the things you want to do.
- Pick one thing to focus on first.
- Write down the first steps needed to move it forward.
- Do one small thing today, not tomorrow.
- Keep going, even if progress is uneven.
For finding the right partner
He described making a list with his therapist to clarify what he actually wanted in a relationship. His advice:
- Be honest about your standards.
- Look for someone kind, emotionally healthy, and compatible with your life.
- Don’t waste time on people who don’t fit your core values.
Memorable Insights
- “Nobody is keeping a scorecard on your life except you.”
- “If you forget about the failure, everyone else is going to forget about it.”
- “You can’t fail if you don’t quit.”
- “Everything in life is going to be hard at some point.”
- “The real skill is waking up for decades and doing it anyway.”
Final Call to Action
The episode ends with a clear challenge to listeners:
- make a list of what you want,
- choose one goal,
- identify the first steps,
- and take one action today.
The larger message is that your life changes when you stop waiting to feel fearless and start acting like the person who already believes it’s possible.