Overview of It’s Not Only Always Been Like This, It’s Always Been Worse | Trust But Verify
This Daily Stoic episode (Daily Stoic | Backyard Ventures) reframes modern complaints by zooming out historically and offering a Stoic practice for emotional regulation: pause, question, and verify your immediate impressions. The host argues that while things can feel bad now, history shows they were often worse; combined with gratitude and deliberate action, that perspective helps us live more effectively and kindly. The episode centers on Epictetus’ advice to test impressions and the practical habit of “trust, but verify.”
Key points and main takeaways
- Perspective: Many modern grievances are real, but people historically endured comparable or worse hardships (tyranny, slavery, cruelty, lack of medicine). Recognizing progress fosters gratitude rather than despair.
- Stoic practice: Don’t be carried away by first impressions. Pause, examine, and test them before reacting.
- “Trust, but verify”: Use instincts as a starting point—not an automatic mandate—by checking facts and motives.
- Reframing obstacles: See interruptions or annoyances as opportunities (the “obstacle is the way”)—a chance to act differently or to practice patience.
- Practical benefits: Slowing down your reactions reduces unnecessary suffering, improves relationships, and increases personal effectiveness.
Notable quotes and insights
- Epictetus (Discourses): “Don’t let the force of an impression carry you away. Say to it, ‘Hold up a bit. Let me see who you are, where you are from. Let me put you to the test.’”
- “Trust, but verify.” (Russian proverb cited as a Stoic-compatible heuristic.)
- Reframing example: A child interrupting bedtime can be a second chance to connect, not an annoyance.
- Therapist’s tip: Preface statements with “what I make up about that is…” to expose assumptions.
Topics discussed
- Historical perspective on suffering and social problems (Ancient Greece, Rome, systemic injustice)
- Gratitude for modern medicine, abundance, and rights compared with the past
- Cognitive quickness vs. cognitive bias (Blink / Malcolm Gladwell referenced)
- Practical mental habits: pausing, questioning, charitable interpretation of others’ tone or intent
- Personal anecdotes illustrating the practice (host’s therapist interactions, bedtime with son)
- Brief mentions of milestones (10-year anniversary of Daily Stoic and its Shopify store)
Actionable steps (how to apply this episode)
- Pause before reacting: When you feel a strong impression, stop and ask for 10–30 seconds.
- Ask the Stoic questions:
- Is it really so bad?
- What do I actually know about this person/situation?
- Am I assuming tone or intent that might be my own projection?
- Is anxiety amplifying the problem?
- Use the “what I make up about that is…” preface to surface assumptions before speaking.
- Reframe interruptions as opportunities—look for the upside or a second chance.
- Verify important instincts: gather a little more information before acting on strong gut reactions.
Who this helps
- People prone to snap judgments, reactive replies, or angry interpretations of ambiguous communication.
- Anyone wanting a quick, Stoic technique to reduce anxiety and improve relationships.
- Readers/listeners seeking perspective during times of political or social frustration.
Episode context & sponsors (brief)
- Milestone: approaching the 10-year anniversary of the Daily Stoic book, website, and Shopify store.
- Sponsors mentioned: Shopify (e-commerce platform) and BetterHelp (online therapy), both framed as practical supports for business and personal well-being.
Quick summary
Zoom out to remember historical perspective and progress; then zoom in and practice a short, Stoic habit—pause, test your impressions, and verify—so you respond with wisdom and gratitude rather than automatic emotion.