Overview of INTERVIEW: Pastor Michael Todd & Natalie Todd Talk “Relationship Goals,” Therapy & Healing, Druski “Mega Church” skit + more
This Breakfast Club interview (The Black Effect Podcast Network / iHeart) features Pastors Michael Todd and Natalie Todd promoting their book-turned-film Relationship Goals (Kelly Rowland stars). The conversation covers the couple’s real-life relationship journey, faith and therapy, rebuilding trust after infidelity, practical relationship tools, responding to cultural critique (including Druski’s “Mega Church” skit), and how they balance ministry, family and public scrutiny. They offer candid, actionable advice for couples, singles, and anyone wrestling with relational pain or public perception.
Key topics discussed
- Origins of Relationship Goals: started as a sermon series → book (NYT #1 for weeks) → film adaptation produced with Devon Franklin; film available on streaming platforms (Prime/Amazon mentioned).
- Their personal story: teen relationship, breakup, maturational gaps, infidelity before marriage, long path to reconciliation.
- Trust & rebuilding: “lost in buckets, earned back in drops” — importance of accountability, demonstrated change, and time.
- Therapy & mental health: value of individual and intensive couples therapy (they do five-day intensives), role of counseling alongside faith.
- Parenting & crisis: son diagnosed with autism; the diagnosis triggered deep depression and exposed emotional/relational work needed.
- Boundaries, transparency and phones: advocating radical transparency (sharing codes, accountability network) as a path to freedom.
- Faith + relationships: using a “triangle” (God + you + partner) as the relational anchor; trusting beyond understanding.
- Cultural moments: response to Drewski’s “Mega Church” skit — found humorous but emphasized it can distract from mission; discussed public criticism of pastors’ families and pastors’ wives’ clothing.
- Practical communication techniques: avoid accusatory “you” statements; focus on owning feelings to disarm defensiveness.
- When to stay vs end: focus on patterns, not one-off acts; ask “does it need to end?” and consider whether meaningful change/pattern shifts are present.
- Public transparency about ministry finances and giving: they state their church has given significant amounts (cited $36M over 11 years), audits, and responsible stewardship.
Personal story & major lessons
- Long-term relationship tested by youthful mistakes and a long separation; reconciliation took years and consistent demonstrated change.
- Michael’s turning point: spiritual conviction to become the man he’d want his daughters to marry — led to deep personal work and accountability.
- Natalie’s rebuilding: needed time for healing, became willing to release control and test whether Michael’s change was consistent and God-centered.
- Both stress: relationships require two people doing internal work; healing requires both accountability and self-work.
Practical takeaways & advice (actionable)
- Rebuilding trust: think in “drops” — consistent small acts rebuild what was lost in large chunks.
- Communication: replace “you” statements with “I felt…” to reduce defensiveness and open constructive dialogue.
- Therapy: don’t treat prayer and counseling as mutually exclusive; intensive counseling can accelerate healing.
- Boundaries: set clear boundaries (friends, social media, work, travel) and remove people who encourage bad patterns.
- Transparency: full honesty and no secrets (phone access, accountability) eases anxiety and strengthens trust.
- Evaluate patterns: after betrayal, watch for repeating behaviors — patterns matter more than apologies.
- Define relationship goals together: set a shared aim (what are you building toward?) — “relationship you desire is the relationship you design.”
- Progress over perfection: focus on incremental improvements (“progression, not perfection”).
Notable quotes & soundbites
- “You lose it in buckets, but you get it back in drops.” — on rebuilding trust
- “The relationship you desire is the relationship you design.” — on intentionality
- “Progression, not perfection.” — on realistic relationship work
- “The greatest freedom you will ever have is when you have no reason to lie.” — on transparency and peace
- “When you don’t have any answers, your capacity to hold the thing can get bigger.” — on grief, faith and coping
Recommended next steps (for listeners)
- If struggling in a relationship: consider individual and couples therapy; set clear boundaries; start small, consistent actions to rebuild trust.
- If doubting whether to stay: honestly ask “does it need to end?”; look at partner’s patterns and sustained effort.
- For practical skills: practice “I” statements in conversations, design shared relationship goals, and create accountability structures.
- Support the film/book if you want more accessible guidance: stream Relationship Goals and/or read the book (authored from their sermon series).
Additional context & production notes
- Film/book context: Relationship Goals began as Michael Todd’s sermon series; the book was a NYT bestseller during the pandemic (2020). The movie features Kelly Rowland and involved Devon Franklin.
- Ministry & family facts: they pastor in Tulsa, Oklahoma; they reported significant charitable giving (~$36M over 11 years) and emphasize audited, accountable finances.
- Public moments: addressed cultural topics (Cam Newton’s platonic-friend comment, Drewski’s skit, criticism of pastors’ wives). Their response: acknowledge truths, use critique to improve, prioritize mission over distraction.
- Where to watch/read: movie promotion noted Prime/Amazon streaming; book widely available (check current platforms).
This interview blends candid personal testimony with concrete relationship tools rooted in faith and therapy. It’s aimed at anyone wanting realistic guidance on rebuilding trust, choosing when to stay or leave, and designing intentional, resilient relationships.