Overview of The Bill Simmons Podcast
Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal break down a chaotic Week 2 of NFL action, with a heavy focus on late-game decisions, quarterback injuries, and teams that already look broken. The episode centers on the Chiefs’ overtime win over the Colts, the Chargers’ meltdown against the Raiders, the Browns-Bucs lightning-delay weirdness, and a full “Guess the Lines” segment that doubles as an early season reality check on playoff contenders and cross-offs. They also weave in some personal updates in Parent Corner and a kidney-stone update from Sal.
Biggest NFL Takeaways
Chiefs look dangerous again
- Patrick Mahomes looked noticeably better than he did in Week 1, with Simmons noting his arm strength appears to be back.
- Travis Kelce also looked closer to his old form, and the Chiefs offense felt more explosive.
- The Colts’ decision to kick a field goal in overtime on 4th-and-8 drew heavy criticism; Simmons and Sal both leaned toward “go for it.”
The Chargers are in serious trouble
- The Chargers blew a game they should have won and looked disjointed on both sides of the ball.
- Justin Herbert was heavily criticized; Simmons argued that the organization has actually supported him with high draft capital and the blame can’t keep going everywhere else.
- The offense looked broken, the play-calling was trashed, and Jim Harbaugh immediately entered the conversation for first coach fired.
- Sal and Simmons both sounded close to writing the Chargers off for the season.
Browns-Bucs chaos: lightning, Baker, and Deshaun
- The Browns beat the Buccaneers in a game that paused for a long lightning delay with Tampa driving.
- Deshaun Watson, in one of the stranger twists of the day, outplayed Baker Mayfield.
- Simmons called it a “Bermuda Triangle game” and said the delay felt like it may have saved the Browns.
- Baker’s late-game play, including his volatility under pressure, was described as terrifying for bettors.
Texans-Bengals was sloppy, but Cincinnati’s defense looks real
- The Bengals won, but Simmons wasn’t fully sold after watching Houston control chunks of the game.
- Houston’s offensive numbers were strong in some areas, but they couldn’t run the ball and Nico Collins’ absence loomed large.
- Cincinnati’s defense was the main positive; the offense still got sacked and pressured too much.
Ravens-Saints was another dumb September Ravens loss
- The Ravens blew another game they should have controlled.
- Lamar Jackson’s late interception was called awful.
- The Saints were praised for how dangerous they look offensively with their playmakers, especially in comeback mode.
- Simmons again emphasized that the Ravens have a habit of dropping bizarre September games.
Bears/Vikings and Commanders injuries
- Caleb Williams’ injury scare briefly looked disastrous, but it turned out to be a hamstring issue rather than the feared Achilles injury.
- The Bears’ offense cratered after last week’s explosion, and fantasy managers were burned by Colston Loveland.
- Washington’s season took a major hit with Jayden Daniels injured; Simmons said the Commanders are suddenly in real danger.
Patriots-Steelers and the state of Drake Maye
- The Patriots’ defense blitzed Aaron Rodgers relentlessly and made life miserable for Pittsburgh.
- Simmons said Rodgers looked awful and the Steelers’ skill-position group is one of the grimmest in the league.
- Drake Maye remains a concern: underthrows, happy feet, and a visible confidence dip. Simmons compared the situation to early warning signs around Mac Jones.
Broncos/Jaguars, Seahawks/Cardinals, Falcons/Panthers
- Denver’s win over Jacksonville was framed as a needed bounce-back, especially for Bo Nix and the defense.
- Seattle impressed again, particularly the JSN breakout and overall offensive rhythm.
- Atlanta and Miami were both panned hard, with Miami becoming Simmons’ first true cross-off team for the playoffs.
“Guess the Lines” Highlights
Some of the biggest numbers discussed:
- Bills vs. Chargers: Bills favored by around a touchdown, with Simmons expecting Buffalo to punish the Chargers.
- Lions vs. Jets: Detroit by about 6.5.
- Bengals vs. Steelers: Cincinnati by 3.5.
- 49ers vs. Cardinals: San Francisco by 8.5.
- Cowboys vs. Ravens in Brazil: Ravens by 3.
- Texans vs. Colts: Houston by 2.5.
- Seahawks vs. Commanders: Seattle by 6.5.
- Buccaneers vs. Vikings: Minnesota by 2.5.
- Panthers vs. Browns: Cleveland by 2.5.
- Chiefs vs. Dolphins: Kansas City by 10.5.
- Eagles vs. Bears: Philadelphia by 3.5.
Market notes
- Simmons said Miami is the first team he’s ready to cross off.
- He also expressed serious concern about the Chargers and, to a lesser degree, the Texans.
- The NFC South continues to look like a mess, with the Saints the most interesting of the bunch and the Bucs/Falcons looking shaky.
Parent Corner
Tardy Marty
- Simmons’ son Jack keeps getting tardy emails from school on Fridays when Bill can’t drive him.
- Bill has nicknamed him “Tardy Marty.”
- The bit turned into a rant about how the school’s attendance emails are annoying and how little real consequence there actually is.
Sal’s kidney stone update
- Sal gave an update on his kidney stone: it’s large enough that it won’t pass naturally, so he’s planning to get it zapped.
- He’s timing pain meds carefully and joked about the absurdity of the whole experience.
Miscellaneous Notes
- Bill plugged a new Rewatchables coming soon: Law Abiding Citizen.
- The episode also included sponsor reads and a brief mention of What Chaos? Hockey Podcast joining The Ringer lineup.
- The guys had fun with several running jokes, including:
- Taylor Swift saying “that’s my husband” after a Kelce TD
- “Justin Yabbut” as a nickname for Herbert
- The “masked backup” joke for Marcus Mariota
- The idea that the Chargers may already be collapsing into a full-season crisis