Summary of Full Show PT 3: Friday, February 6 [Vault]

Overview of Full Show PT 3: Friday, February 6 [Vault]

This episode of The Bert Show (Pionaire Podcasting) mixes light-hearted family debate with serious relationship advice. Main threads: a recurring argument over over-the-top first birthday parties and etiquette for inviting friends without children, a caller wrestling with last-minute wedding doubts, and an extended expert segment with Michelle Wiener-Davis (author of Sex-Starved Marriage/The Sex-Starved Wife) about mismatched sexual desire and “sexless” marriages. Listeners call in with real situations; the hosts and guest offer practical tips, judgments, and resources.

Major segments

1) First-birthday party debate (Hollis’ 1st)

• Host Bert admits he lost a past argument with his wife Stacey about a couple/baby shower and now is relenting again: Stacey is planning a large, full-service first birthday party for their son Hollis (moonwalk, entertainers, neighbors invited, two-house setup).
• Discussion points:
  • Bert’s discomfort: sees extravagant first-birthday parties as unnecessary because the child won’t remember it.
  • Stacey’s perspective: these events are meaningful to family traditions; younger siblings often get bigger celebrations.
  • Etiquette question: should friends without kids feel obliged to attend? How to invite without pressuring?
• Listener examples:
  • One friend’s tongue-in-cheek invitation suggested a $20–$30 gift range, or increase gift by $20 if skipping—helped friends feel comfortable opting out and encouraged an after-party meetup.
  • Party-entertainment caller notes costs can escalate (pony/petting zoo niches ~$1,100; total parties commonly $5k–$10k).

2) Last-minute wedding doubts (caller: Brenda)

• Brenda calls the morning before her wedding saying she’s unsure whether to marry; she’s been having doubts since engagement, feels she loves but isn’t “in love,” and is overwhelmed by the logistics and pressure.
• Hosts and callers weigh in:
  • Many advise trusting gut feelings—better to stop before the ceremony than to enter a marriage likely to fail.
  • Others warn of social fallout and financial/wasted efforts but prioritize lifelong consequences over temporary embarrassment.
  • Practical considerations: who to tell first (mom, then fiance?), consequences for the groom, possible postponement or private resolution later.
• Recurrent advice: discuss honestly with close family, evaluate how long doubts have existed, and avoid marrying with a contingency-plan mindset.

3) Expert segment: Sex and intimacy in marriage (guest Michelle Wiener-Davis)

• Michelle (author of Sex-Starved Marriage / The Sex-Starved Wife) addresses callers experiencing sexual desire gaps.
• Key concepts:
  • The sexual-desire gap is common across ages and life stages; presence/absence of children isn’t the sole factor.
  • “Planned spontaneity”: when life (children, schedules) interferes, schedule private time and make it creative; planning can coexist with feeling spontaneous.
  • Causes of low desire: hormonal changes, parenting fatigue, trauma/abuse history, lack of sexual knowledge about one’s body, or partner issues (medical/psychological).
• Advice to callers:
  • Self-exploration: learn your body so you can coach a partner.
  • Communication: express emotional impact (feeling unloved/rejected) rather than only physical complaints.
  • Action over words: if frank talk fails, change routines to create curiosity and get partner’s attention.
  • Seek professional help: therapy, medical evaluation, telephone coaching. Michelle recommends her books and resources at Divorcebusting.com.
  • For severe/resistant cases: set clear boundaries/ultimatums—demand joint therapy or consider separation if nothing changes.

Key takeaways

• Social etiquette around child-focused parties: invite broadly but make it explicit guests aren’t obligated; offer alternatives (after-party plans) and avoid pressuring childless friends.
• On weddings: long-simmering doubts are a red flag—better to pause than enter a marriage you suspect won’t work.
• On mismatched sexual desire:
  • It’s common and treatable; not necessarily a moral failing of either partner.
  • Practical steps: honest emotional communication, sexual education/self-exploration, scheduled intimacy (“planned spontaneity”), couple’s therapy, and medical checks.
  • If repeated attempts fail, consider stronger actions (ultimatum, separation), especially when one partner refuses to engage in change.

Notable quotes

• “I learned my lesson... I should have shut up.” — Bert, on compromising about meaningful events to his wife.
• Jason’s tongue-in-cheek invite: increase your gift if you skip the party—using humor to relieve social pressure.
• Michelle Wiener-Davis: “Planned spontaneity” — schedule privacy but keep the encounter creative.
• “If you have that contingency plan [to divorce], it’s probably not a great decision.” — caller/host advice on marrying while planning a backup.

Practical action items & resources

• For party hosts:
  • State clearly on invitations that guests should not feel obligated; offer a casual post-party hangout.
  • Expect and accept a mix of attendees; focus on what the celebration means to family.
• For people with last-minute wedding doubts:
  • Talk to a trusted family member or counselor immediately.
  • Assess how long doubts have been present; if long-term, reconsider.
  • Consider delaying the ceremony if possible to avoid lifelong regret.
• For couples with sexual-intimacy issues:
  • Read: Sex-Starved Marriage / The Sex-Starved Wife (Michelle Wiener-Davis).
  • Visit: Divorcebusting.com for coaching and resources.
  • Try: honest emotional conversations (not accusatory), self-exploration, scheduled/private time, and professional therapy/medical evaluation.
  • If partner refuses to engage, set a clear boundary and consider couple/individual therapy or separation as last resort.

Final note

The episode balances humor (party planning, neighborhood moonwalks) with candid, often difficult relationship conversations. The recurring theme: prioritize honest communication and deliberate action—whether for celebrations, marriages, or intimacy—rather than passive acceptance.