Overview of Former Reality TV Swinger Found Dead After Hiring Hitman to Kill Her Rich Husband
This episode (hosted by Stephanie Soo) recounts the rise and fall of Mark and "Tatiana" Remley — a wealthy Southern California couple whose extravagant lifestyle, failed horse-show venture, and participation in an elite swingers scene ended in criminal charges, arson investigations, and a violent death. The episode focuses on the Valatar horse-show collapse, the couple’s involvement with the Sanctum sex club and documentary, Tatiana’s alleged background and pattern of behavior, the solicitation-to-murder case against her, subsequent legal trouble for arson, and her December 2025 death in downtown San Diego.
Key people and roles
- Mark Remley — Tech executive (reported government contracts, reported wealth in the millions), husband/ex-husband of Tatiana, target of a murder-for-hire plot.
- Tatiana Remley (possibly not her birth name; speculated born “Tanya”) — Socialite, face of Valatar horse show, frequent Sanctum participant; pleaded guilty to solicitation to commit murder and firearm charges; later died from a gunshot wound in public.
- Damon — Founder of Sanctum (the exclusive swingers club); subject of a documentary featured in the episode.
- Ken Wilcott — Tatiana’s ex-husband from prior marriage; real estate developer in Seattle; retained custody of their child after a contentious divorce.
- Unnamed mutual friends, business partners, and witnesses who provide context and often conflicting accounts.
Timeline — major events
- Valatar (horse show) launched with ~ $20M spent; failed after two performances, leaving performers/horses stranded.
- The couple became visible members of Sanctum and featured (under pseudonyms “Vladimir and Ileana”) in a documentary about the club.
- Relationship patterns: loud public displays, expensive purchases (e.g., a $218K engagement ring, large clothing spending), repeated failed business ventures (spin-off cycling studio, women’s polo team).
- Contentious divorce: disputes over spousal support (Tatiana reportedly seeking $15K/month; previously $50K/month allowance) and access to assets. Allegations of abuse and retaliation appear in filings.
- Aug 2, 2023: Tatiana was arrested after attempting to hire an undercover officer (via a mutual acquaintance) to kill Mark for an alleged $2 million fee. She pled guilty to solicitation to commit murder and a firearm charge; initially faced up to nine years, ultimately sentenced to four years and served approximately one year.
- Sept 2025: Tatiana arrested on arson charges related to the Del Mar house fire (investigation ongoing; she pled not guilty and was awaiting trial).
- Dec 18, 2025: Tatiana was shot in Little Italy (San Diego) outside a bar and died from a gunshot wound to the head. Circumstances remain disputed/uncertain.
Background & context
Valatar horse show
- Marketed as a high-budget equestrian/Cirque-like attraction with Tatiana as the star.
- Criticized for poor planning: inexperienced lead rider (Tatiana), extravagant spending on marketing/costumes while skimping on animal and performer care, and abrupt abandonment after just two shows. Resulted in major financial loss and resentment among staff.
Sanctum and documentary exposure
- Sanctum: an exclusive, high-end swingers club (rumored celebrity clients; founder Damon later started Puzzle, a dinner-show venue).
- The documentary (referred to on the show) depicted very explicit/sexualized dinner parties. Mark and Tatiana appeared under pseudonyms and described the lifestyle as transformative. Observers described Tatiana as performative and not authentic in these settings.
Tatiana’s early life and identity questions
- Reportedly born in Phoenix, raised near Bend, Oregon; parents reportedly had religious or isolationist tendencies; Tatiana alleged to have experienced childhood trauma and to have been denied standard schooling/medical care.
- Speculation her legal name may differ from “Tatiana” and that she adopted a persona (Russian/equestrian aesthetic) to craft identity and social capital.
Legal case details & allegations
- Solicitation to commit murder: Tatiana allegedly sought a hit on Mark (August 2023), communicated with a mutual acquaintance who informed police, leading to a sting arrest at a Starbucks restroom. She pled guilty to solicitation and a firearm charge; served roughly one year of a four-year sentence.
- Fire/arson: Del Mar house (reported $5.5M) burned; fire department/arson investigators considered it suspicious. Tatiana was present at the scene with firearms and ammunition; later arrested on arson charges (Sept 2025), pleaded not guilty, and was awaiting trial when she died.
- Divorce filings: mutual accusations — Tatiana alleged Mark committed physical and emotional abuse (including claims of staged assault/rape and a decapitated horse-head statue left on their bed as a threat). Mark denied and accused Tatiana of orchestrating some of the incidents and of financial impropriety.
- Asset disputes: filings referenced Mark’s multi-million-dollar portfolio, bank balances, properties; heated argument over Tatiana’s reduced monthly support.
Unresolved questions and controversies
- Who set the Del Mar house fire? Arson investigation ongoing; Tatiana was a suspect and awaiting trial.
- The origin of the decapitated horse-head episode: Tatiana claimed attackers forced entry, assaulted her, and left the horse head as a threat. Some friends say she orchestrated role-play; others think it occurred and implicate different actors. Conflicting accounts persist.
- The death of Tatiana’s friend Cheryl around the time of the house fire: limited public information; some rumors link Tatiana to Cheryl’s death, but nothing conclusive is presented.
- Motivation and culpability: Whether Tatiana was primarily a victim of trauma who later acted out, a manipulative perpetrator, or some complex mixture — accounts vary and remain contested.
Notable quotes and signals from the episode
- Mark on their lifestyle: “Sex is probably the biggest part of our lives… Sex is the center of our universe.”
- Tatiana’s public post after release: “Maturity is when you have the power to destroy someone who did you wrong, but you just breathe, walk away and let life take care of them.”
- Court documents reportedly describe detailed and gruesome instructions Tatiana allegedly provided for how she wanted Mark murdered (including decapitation), and that investigators found large amounts of cash and unregistered firearms in her possession.
Main takeaways
- The case highlights how wealth, spectacle, and extreme lifestyles can mask deeper dysfunction — failed businesses, financial mismanagement, and volatile relationships.
- The transition from public spectacle (Valatar, Sanctum documentary) to criminal activity (solicitation and arson charges) illustrates escalating interpersonal conflict and alleged desperation over financial losses and divorce outcomes.
- Numerous unanswered facts and contradictory witness accounts leave major elements of the story unresolved (arson responsibility, the authenticity of abuse claims, the role of mutual friends).
- The criminal justice outcomes (relatively short time served for solicitation to murder by some observers) fueled public disbelief and debate about sentencing and public safety.
For further context / recommended next steps
- Listen to Part One of the audio series (the host notes this is Part Two) for fuller chronology and background on Valatar and key players.
- Review court filings and local news coverage for documentary evidence (dates, charges, sentencing records) if seeking legal specifics; many public claims in the episode are based on interviews and mutual friends and include disputed allegations.
- Note that many personal details (names, family claims, alleged abuse) are contested or based on sources with conflicting perspectives — treat disputed claims as allegations unless supported by court findings or verified records.
If you want a condensed timeline or a one-page fact sheet (dates, charges, outcomes) pulled from the episode, I can create that next.