965. Q&AF: Over-Planning Vs Action, Saying No Without Guilt, and Leading Employees With Bad Attitudes

Summary of 965. Q&AF: Over-Planning Vs Action, Saying No Without Guilt, and Leading Employees With Bad Attitudes

by Andy Frisella

39m•November 17, 2025
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Overview of 965. Q&AF: Over-Planning Vs Action, Saying No Without Guilt, and Leading Employees With Bad Attitudes

Host Andy Frisella answers listener questions on when preparation becomes procrastination, how to say “no” without guilt, and handling high-skill employees with bad attitudes. The episode mixes practical business and personal-development advice with Andy’s trademark blunt delivery and references to his Live Hard / 75 Hard mental toughness framework.

Key topics covered

  • When preparation helps and when it becomes a roadblock to starting
  • How to set boundaries and say “no” while maintaining integrity
  • Whether attitude or job knowledge matters more for advancement — and how to handle toxic high-performers
  • Announcements: CTI (Cruise The Internet) moving to a live format; live show tonight at ~7–9pm CST; how to submit Qs (askandy@andyfrasella.com, link in description, YouTube comments)

Q1 — Over-preparing vs. action: “Preparation is the antidote to fear” (George St. Pierre)

Main points

  • Preparation reduces anxiety and is valuable — but “too much preparation” exists when it becomes an excuse not to start.
  • “Success zombies”: people who endlessly consume info, plan, and seek approval rather than act.
  • Discipline is a skill, not a fixed trait. Build it by leaning into discomfort, committing, and iterating.
  • Real growth comes from starting, making mistakes, learning, and persisting over long timelines. Practical advice
  • Stop waiting for permission/approval. Pick a date and start.
  • Treat discipline like a practiced skill: create small adherence habits and scale them.
  • Use frameworks like 75 Hard (cited as a mental toughness program) to train consistency.

Q2 — Saying no without guilt; balancing helpfulness and reliability

Main points

  • Saying “yes” too quickly leads to overcommitment and ultimately disappoints others.
  • Saying “no” is a boundary that protects your ability to serve the people and obligations that matter most.
  • Practice is required: people don’t immediately feel comfortable saying no; you get better with repetition. Financial guidance
  • If you give money, prefer gifts over loans (loans often damage relationships and aren’t repaid).
  • Help when there’s a real need; avoid enabling dependency or becoming the “solution” people exploit. Practical advice
  • Assess whether saying yes helps your main commitments or hurts them.
  • Learn short, respectful ways to decline; be direct but not confrontational.
  • Reserve resources for meaningful needs; set clear expectations when you do help.

Q3 — Attitude vs. knowledge: leading employees with bad attitudes

Main points

  • Attitude > skill when building team/culture. A highly skilled worker with a bad attitude will damage culture and morale, especially because peers emulate high performers.
  • Hire for attitude/culture fit first, then train skill. You can teach skill; you can rarely fix entrenched toxic behavior.
  • A high-skill person who can replicate their performance in others becomes invaluable; the combination of performance + ability to develop others is the highest leverage. How to handle a good-skill / bad-attitude employee
  • First, assess whether the person knows their impact. Sometimes they’re unaware of their leadership capital and tone.
  • Give direct feedback: show how their behavior affects team performance and livelihoods.
  • If they respond by improving and helping others, their value rises. If they push back with ego (“I’m the best”), that’s a warning sign — plan to replace them.
  • Better short-term: a slightly-less-skilled person with great attitude can often be developed and produces better long-term culture. Practical advice
  • Have one-on-one conversations that connect behavior to team outcomes and compensation/growth opportunities.
  • Make culture intentional — train and model the behaviors you want.
  • Replace toxic but skilled people if they refuse to change.

Notable quotes / soundbites

  • “Preparation is the antidote to fear — but you can prepare forever and never go.”
  • “Discipline is a skill you develop, not a trait you’re born with.”
  • “When you give money, make it a gift, not a loan.”
  • “The most valuable employee skill: high performance plus the ability to replicate it in others.”

Actionable takeaways

  • If you’re stuck in planning mode: set a firm start date, accept you’ll learn by doing, and build small daily adherence habits.
  • Practice saying “no” so you can protect time, energy, and priorities; be kind but direct.
  • For leaders: prioritize culture when hiring/promoting; confront toxic attitudes early and link them to team consequences.
  • When helping financially: evaluate genuine need; give, don’t loan; avoid enabling dependency.

Resources & logistics mentioned

  • 75 Hard / Live Hard program referenced; full Live Hard program available in episode 208 (audio feed) and the book The Book on Mental Toughness at andyfrasella.com.
  • Submit questions: askandy@andyfrasella.com, link in episode description, or comments on Q&A episodes on YouTube.
  • CTI and other segments are moving to a live format (YouTube/Twitter). Tonight’s live was advertised ~7pm CST for ~2 hours.

If you want the short version: prepare enough to reduce fear, then start; protect your time by learning to say no; and hire for attitude/culture first — a toxic high-performer will cost you more than they’re worth.