Overview of The 2026 Takey Awards Featuring Celebrity Guest Presenters, Blake Griffin, Blake Bortles, Brooks Koepka And More
The annual Takey Awards returned as PMT’s over-the-top, self-aware summer awards show, handing out 28 awards across sports, internet discourse, Barstool lore, and absurd comedy bits. The episode mixed genuine appreciation for the audience with a parade of roast-heavy categories, surprise celebrity cameos, and running jokes about the show’s 10-year run, the upcoming Pardon My Book, and the idea that there’s “not a lot to talk about in sports” in July—so they made their own event.
Biggest Winners and Headline Awards
Major sports take winners
- Take of the Year: Yasir Al-Rumayyan for the quote about LIV Golf lasting “well past his death.”
- Can’t Win the Big One: Cristiano Ronaldo
- Presented by Lionel Messi in a cameo that made the joke even better.
- 14th Best Quarterback: Dak Prescott
- Brad Stevens No of the Year: Announced as Paul George after a confused but funny debate about whether the real “no” belonged to the Sixers.
- Week 1 Super Bowl Win of the Year: Philadelphia 76ers beating the Celtics in Game 7, the archetypal “won the battle, not the war” moment.
- Michigan Man of the Year: Sharon Moore
- Blake of the Year: Blake Bortles, who edged out Blake Griffin by a split-second Zoom race; Brooks Koepka called in late from Portugal and “started his own competition,” but still lost.
- Book of the Year: Pardon My Book
- Podcast Listener of the Year: AWLs / Part of My Take listeners
Internet and personality awards
- Just Log Off of the Year: Brian Johnson
- Ratio of the Year: Emmanuel Acho
- Lib of the Year: Jerry O’Connell
- Cuck of the Year: Jerry O’Connell
- Just Chill Out of the Year: Max
- Hank Loss of the Year: All of them
- Bruce Buffer delivered the funniest possible verdict: a unanimous “all of them.”
Other standout awards
- Fight of the Year: Hank vs. Big Dom
- Fart of the Year: Henry Lockwood
- Retirement of the Year: Meow Mix podcast
- Tits of the Year: Memes
- Animal of the Year: The bison that flipped an old man
- Ball of the Year: Tyler Shough (the Saints QB)
- Gorilla Trade of the Year: The Pittsburgh Zoo trading Frankie for Little Joe
- Still Alive Person of the Year: Jerry Jones
- Dildo Toss of the Year: The second WNBA dildo toss
- Call to the President of the Year: Tiger Woods
Best Guest Presenters and Bits
Surprise cameo highlights
- Lionel Messi presented Ronaldo’s loss with a calm, deadpan cameo.
- Joe Biden delivered the Lib of the Year award in a surprise, absurdly heartfelt video.
- Bruce Buffer gave the “Hank Loss of the Year” verdict.
- Nancy Pelosi presented “Tits of the Year” to Memes with a very on-brand joke-laden cameo.
- Bam Margera handled the Dildo Toss award.
- LeVar Ball announced Ball of the Year, staying fully in character.
- Mike Francesa presented the Gorilla Trade award, which turned into a hilarious pseudo-sports-management interview with the Pittsburgh Zoo CEO.
The zoo-trade segment
One of the most memorable bits was the Pittsburgh Zoo CEO breaking down the gorilla trade like an NFL GM:
- explained silverbacks, roster fit, “win-now” mode, and long-term animal development
- treated zoo trades like team-building and scouting
- made the whole segment sound weirdly legit, which made it even funnier
Running Themes and Takeaways
The show leaned into a few big ideas
- Sports as comedy fuel: most awards came from real sports moments, but the punchline was always the overreaction, bad take, or silly consequence.
- Internet absurdity: a lot of the awards were really about who was too online, too dramatic, or too eager to post.
- Barstool self-roasting: Max, Hank, and the rest of the crew took plenty of hits and kept the tone playful.
- Golf content chaos: Brooks Koepka, Blake Griffin, Blake Bortles, and the zoo trade segment all made the show feel like a weird golf/sports crossover universe.
- Emotional anniversary vibe: despite all the jokes, the episode ended with genuine gratitude for the audience and a reflection on how much the show has meant over the last decade.
Notable recurring joke: the “Kumbaya” debate
A running argument broke out about whether the crew had agreed to go “kumbaya” on Mount Rushmore-style segments, with Hank accused of gaslighting the others. It became one of the funniest low-stakes internal arguments of the episode.
Closing Thoughts
The episode ended on a sincere note: PMT thanked listeners for a decade of support, acknowledged how much the show has grown, and reflected on how the podcast has become a defining part of everyone’s life and career. They also plugged Pardon My Book, noting its release and signing details, while joking that the AWLs will help make it a bestseller.
Overall, the Takeys were exactly what they’re supposed to be: a long, chaotic, very funny celebration of sports takes, internet nonsense, and the community around the show.