Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No! (Follow THESE Clear Boundaries to Protect Your Energy)

Summary of Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No! (Follow THESE Clear Boundaries to Protect Your Energy)

by iHeartPodcasts

23m•January 30, 2026
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Overview of Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No! (Follow THESE Clear Boundaries to Protect Your Energy)

Host: Jay (iHeartPodcasts)

This episode explains why protecting your energy is essential for wellbeing, productivity, and healthy relationships. Jay defines energy as a personal currency—how you show up, create, and attract people—and gives a clear framework for identifying energy drains, stopping self-inflicted “leaks,” and setting practical boundaries that preserve your capacity without becoming cold or unkind.

Key themes & main takeaways

  • Energy is finite and influences everything you do—relationships, work, creativity, and health. Protecting it is as important as managing time or money.
  • People fall into two categories: energy investors (who leave you inspired and lighter) and energy thieves (who leave you drained). Many takers aren’t malicious—they may be running on empty.
  • Not all drains are obvious; learn to spot subtle patterns (emotional dumping, chronic taking, boundary testing, conditional compliments, situational friendship).
  • Often you’re enabling the drain by overgiving, saying yes out of fear, or making yourself constantly available.
  • Boundaries are clarity, not rejection. You can be compassionate and still protect your peace.
  • Practical tools include the Three Boundary Rule (physical, emotional, energetic) and actionable tests: Pause Test, Energy Audit, and the 24-Hour Rule.

Who drains vs. who fuels

  • Energy investors:
    • Make you feel safe being yourself
    • Listen to understand
    • Celebrate your wins and inspire action
    • Respect your boundaries
  • Energy takers:
    • Make you feel guilty, flat, or exhausted
    • Listen to reply, center conversation on themselves
    • Undermine or condition celebration
    • Test and disregard boundaries

The five subtle energy drains (with short descriptions)

  1. Emotional dumper — Constant venting; conversations revolve around their drama and return to them no matter what you share.
  2. Chronic taker — One-sided support: they take help frequently but aren’t available when you need them.
  3. Boundary tester — Asks for “small” favors repeatedly, eroding stated limits (e.g., “It’ll only take 30 minutes”).
  4. Compliment parasite — Celebrates until your success outshines them; becomes passive-aggressive around your wins.
  5. Situational friend — Present during your highs, absent during struggles.

Inner leaks — how you drain yourself

  • Saying yes out of fear of losing love or being labeled difficult
  • Confusing being busy with being valuable
  • Equating availability with kindness
  • Allowing access (literal or emotional) because you taught others how to treat you Key point: protecting energy begins with stopping self-betrayal.

The Three Boundary Rule (practical framework)

  1. Physical boundaries (space & time)
    • Decide who gets your mornings, weekends, evenings.
    • Use delayed replies and scheduled alone time as self-care.
  2. Emotional boundaries
    • Don’t absorb other people’s moods. Hold compassion without taking on chaos.
    • Set expectations for crisis communications (e.g., offer a later time to talk).
  3. Energetic boundaries (spiritual/ritual)
    • Regular practices (meditation, prayer, nature, stillness) to cleanse residue of others' energy.

Concrete tools & actions to implement now

  • Pause Test: If you dread replying or saying yes immediately, pause. That dread signals overextension.
  • Energy Audit (weekly): List who/what gives energy and who/what drains it. Track patterns and your real capacity.
  • 24-Hour Rule: Don’t say yes right away—sleep on it to check your energy level as well as your calendar.
  • Set rules & systems: e.g., limit to two work events/week, reserve weekends for family, schedule exercise and hobbies.
  • Seasonal priorities: Acknowledge that priorities shift—choose the season you’re in rather than pleasing everyone.

Quick scripts (examples you can adapt)

  • “I can’t this weekend, but I’d love to catch up next Tuesday evening.”
  • “I hear you—this sounds important. I have time on [day]; can we talk then so I can give you my full attention?”
  • “I’m not able to take that on right now. I want to protect my capacity so I can do my best work.”

Notable quotes & soundbites

  • “Your energy is your currency. Manage it like you manage your money and your time.”
  • “Boundaries aren’t rejection, they’re clarity.”
  • “You don’t owe anyone your burnout. You owe yourself your peace.”
  • “People will like you because you’re available, but people will respect you when access to you is protected.”

Quick checklist (what to do in the next 72 hours)

  • Track interactions for 24/48/72 hours and note who leaves you lighter vs. heavier.
  • Apply the Pause Test once before committing to any request.
  • Start a simple energy audit: one column “gives” and one column “drains.”
  • Choose one physical boundary to protect this week (e.g., no work after 8pm or reserve weekends).

Final framing

Protecting energy is not about building walls—it's about creating healthy limits so you can be present, generous, and effective. Boundaries make you harder to manipulate and clearer to love; they help you show up as your best self for the people and projects that matter.

If this episode resonated, share it with someone who needs the reminder that preserving energy is a form of self-respect.