Overview of Not Skinny But Not Fat with Jamie Lynn Sigler
Amanda Hirsch sits down with Jamie Lynn Sigler for a candid, emotional conversation about Jamie’s memoir And So It Is, her years of hiding multiple sclerosis (MS), the pressure of growing up on The Sopranos, and how she’s finally learning to live more openly and ask for help. The episode blends humor, vulnerability, and behind-the-scenes stories from Jamie’s career and personal life, with a strong focus on shame, resilience, motherhood, and self-acceptance.
Main Topics Discussed
Jamie Lynn Sigler’s memoir and speaking her truth
- Jamie explains that writing And So It Is was an act of releasing years of secrecy, regret, and shame.
- She reflects on how she spent much of her life trying to appear “fine” while privately struggling.
- Amanda emphasizes how deeply Jamie’s honesty resonates and how “special” she feels as a person and storyteller.
Growing up, acting, and landing The Sopranos
- Jamie shares that she was not a stereotypical extroverted child star; acting was actually her escape.
- She loved theater, but felt unsure about on-camera work and worried she didn’t fit Hollywood “boxes.”
- She recalls auditioning for Meadow Soprano with no expectation of getting the role, and how surreal it was to suddenly find herself on The Sopranos.
- The early days of the show felt normal to her at first; she was still a teenager living at home and trying to maintain a regular life.
The pressure, scrutiny, and body image trauma
- Jamie opens up about being publicly scrutinized over her weight and appearance while on the show.
- She describes being mocked, including a cruel radio call-in about her body.
- She also discusses an eating disorder, intense insecurity, and how a nose injury led to a nose job right after the pilot.
- She says the experience left her feeling like a burden and “not good enough” for the show, even though the cast and crew on set were supportive.
Hiding MS for years
- Jamie was diagnosed with MS between seasons 3 and 4 of The Sopranos.
- She says the diagnosis was immediately turned into a secret: the family’s first instinct was to tell no one.
- Her fear was that revealing the illness would lead to being fired, never working again, or being reduced to “the girl with MS.”
- She talks about lying constantly, not asking for help, and pushing through work while privately dealing with symptoms.
- She was on treatment, but often skipped medication and did not fully care for herself during those years.
Relationships, dependency, and learning boundaries
- Jamie reflects on how her first husband, AJ, was also her manager and felt like a protector and guide at the time.
- She describes that relationship as toxic but not one-dimensional: he was both supportive and damaging.
- She also talks about eventually deciding to divorce and how difficult it was to make that choice on her own.
- She later learns the value of forgiveness and emotional closure.
Marriage to Cutter Dykstra and real partnership
- Jamie shares that her current husband, Cutter Dykstra, has been instrumental in her acceptance journey.
- One standout moment: he told her to wear a diaper/Depends to make life easier, which she initially found embarrassing but now sees as loving, practical support.
- She says he helped her stop treating MS like something to hide or apologize for.
Motherhood, illness, and advocating for her son
- Jamie discusses her son Bo’s serious illness, ADEM, and how terrifying it was to navigate as a mother.
- She describes fighting to get doctors to take her instincts seriously when he was repeatedly sent home.
- The experience forced her to become a stronger advocate and showed her she could ask for help and use her voice.
- She also shares how Bo’s recovery changed him and how therapy and self-compassion have helped the family.
Friendship, Christina Applegate, and community
- Jamie credits her friends with helping her become more open and self-aware.
- She and Christina Applegate connected through Lance Bass and eventually turned their shared experiences with MS into a podcast.
- Jamie says those conversations helped her feel less alone and prepared her to write the book.
- She also mentions learning that James Gandolfini had donated to MS support without seeking credit, which deeply moved her.
Key Takeaways
- Shame thrives in secrecy: Jamie’s biggest burden was not just MS itself, but hiding it for years.
- Support changes everything: Friends, partners, and community helped her begin to see her worth.
- You don’t have to do it alone: A major theme of the episode is learning to ask for help instead of performing strength.
- Acceptance is a process: Jamie’s journey from fear and self-doubt to “fuck it, this is how I walk” is one of the episode’s biggest emotional beats.
- Motherhood sharpened her advocacy: Her experience with Bo’s illness reinforced her instinct to trust herself and speak up.
Notable Moments
- Jamie laughs through stories about being a teenage actor in New York, including commercial classes and living a very normal life while auditioning.
- Amanda and Jamie bond over astrology, family, and the weird pressure of public life.
- Jamie’s story about thinking USA Today was asking “yay or gay” instead of “yay or nay” gives the episode a lighter, funny moment.
- The conversation becomes especially powerful when Jamie says she’s finally able to live more freely and no longer feels like she has to hide the parts of herself that need support.
Final Takeaway
This episode is a moving portrait of Jamie Lynn Sigler at a new stage of life: less guarded, more honest, and finally willing to let people see the full truth of her experience. It’s as much about MS as it is about identity, womanhood, motherhood, and the healing that comes from telling the truth.