Overview of No Stupid Questions (Episode 65: “What’s the Best Advice You’ve Ever Received?”)
Hosts Stephen Dubner and Angela Duckworth discuss the nature and value of advice—what makes advice useful or harmful, why people often ignore good counsel, and whether parenting should require formal instruction. Along the way they swap personal “best advice” stories, review evidence from social-science experiments about advice-giving, answer listener questions (vet school debt; compulsory parenting classes), and surface actionable ideas for how to give and use advice better.
Key topics discussed
- Two personal pieces of advice that shaped the hosts:
- Stephen’s “big fish” story: don’t settle for easy, small gains—go after ambitious goals even if you often fail while trying.
- Angela’s professor Kay Merseth: “Life is a story…not to tell the right story, but to tell a story you can be proud of.”
- Solicited vs. unsolicited advice: why unsolicited advice can backfire (stigmatization, resistance).
- An experiment showing that asking people to give advice (rather than receiving it) can improve their own outcomes.
- The policy question: should parenting classes be compulsory—or even should parenting be licensed?
- Practical parenting insight from developmental psychology: Vygotsky’s “zone of proximal development” and scaffolding.
- Listener questions:
- Should someone ignore widespread advice against returning to vet school given the debt and salary trade-offs?
- Should Estonia (or any country) institute compulsory parenting classes?
Main takeaways
- Giving advice can be motivating: A randomized study where high-schoolers were asked to give advice to younger peers led the advice-givers to improve their own grades (notably in their targeted class and math). Turning people into advice-givers produces behavioral benefits.
- Unsolicited advice often fails because it triggers defensiveness or stigma; asking for advice or framing people as advisors is often more effective.
- There is no one-size-fits-all quality control for advice—context, incentives, and the adviser’s perspective matter. When advice is plentiful and conflicting, rely on your own judgment about what resonates.
- Parenting classes and early-childhood interventions can be effective in randomized evaluations (e.g., nurse visitation programs). That said, compulsory parenting classes are politically and ethically fraught; voluntary, accessible, evidence-based resources are preferred by the hosts.
- A useful heuristic for handling advice: if your gut and the advisor’s gut agree, take it; if they disagree, treat the situation with care—consider the source, evidence, and how the advice fits your goals.
Notable insights & quotes
- “Go for the big fish.” (Stephen’s fishing anecdote—choose ambitious goals rather than always opt for easy wins.)
- “Life is a story…your job is not to tell the right story or even the best story. It’s just to tell a story that you can be proud of.” (Kay Merseth, relayed by Angela)
- On unsolicited advice: it can stigmatize the recipient—“Why are you giving me advice? You must think I need it.”
- Vygotsky’s practical parenting idea: scaffold just beyond a child’s current ability (the zone of proximal development)—help without doing it for them.
Studies and evidence referenced
- Lauren Eskreis-Winkler (former student of Angela Duckworth) led a randomized study: ~1,000 high-school students were assigned to give advice to younger peers; the act of giving advice improved the givers’ subsequent grades in their targeted subject and in math.
- Nurse-Family Partnership (David Olds): home visits and guidance for low-income first-time mothers—subject of randomized trials with long-term benefits (program began in 1977).
- Mention of broader intervention literature: many behavior-change interventions (sleep, diet, exercise) often fail—which motivated the question of why good-sounding advice is sometimes ignored.
- Reid Hoffman anecdote: VCs often show bimodal reactions to certain investments—some hate it, some love it—suggesting that truly novel high-return opportunities provoke polarized judgments.
Practical advice & recommendations
- If you’re on the receiving end:
- Prefer solicited advice; ask for input when you want it.
- If you receive unsolicited advice, consider the source and their incentives. If the suggestion “resonates” with your own reasoning, accept it; if not, be cautious.
- When facing too many conflicting opinions, discard most and select the few pieces that align with your values and the story you want to tell about your life.
- If you want to change your behavior: try giving advice to someone else. Framing yourself as an advisor can increase commitment and performance.
- For parents: try scaffolding—don’t solve the problem for your child, but reduce complexity and support them to succeed just beyond their current ability.
Listener Qs addressed
- Vet school debt (listener “Jo”): veterinarians often graduate with large debt (hosts cited ~$180k+ on average), with salaries typically lower than for MDs or dentists; weighing financial realities is important before returning to school.
- Compulsory parenting classes (listener from Estonia): research supports that parenting interventions can help, especially early and for at-risk groups, but the hosts oppose compulsory universal mandates. They favor voluntary, accessible, evidence-based programs (examples mentioned: Yale’s parenting resources, Coursera courses, Nurse-Family Partnership), and caution about elitism or political backlash from mandatory schemes.
Fact-check highlights (from the episode)
- Angela’s unnamed leader of Singapore was Lee Kuan Yew (Singapore’s first prime minister).
- The Nurse-Family Partnership began in 1977 (David Olds), not the early 1990s.
- The Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion—not the FDA—typically runs public campaigns to increase fruit/vegetable consumption.
- US math proficiency context: 34% of 8th graders tested proficient in math on the 2019 NAEP; separate surveys show many Americans reported liking math in school (Pew).
Episode details
- Show: No Stupid Questions (Freakonomics Radio Network)
- Hosts: Stephen Dubner & Angela Duckworth
- Episode focus: What makes advice good or bad; the psychology and evidence around advice-giving; parenting education and public policy.
- Recommended follow-ups from the episode: look up Lauren Eskreis-Winkler’s research on advice-giving; Nurse-Family Partnership outcomes; Vygotsky’s zone of proximal development; Tools of the Mind (early-childhood curriculum mentioned).
If you want a one-line takeaway: giving advice to others often helps you act on wisdom you already have; when receiving advice, prefer solicited input and choose the guidance that fits the story you want to be able to tell about your life.