Overview of Heavyweight — Episode 66: Deborah
This episode of Heavyweight (host Jonathan Goldstein) tells the story of Deborah, a 102‑year‑old Bronx resident who discovers a box of 256 letters, poems, and short stories from her first love, Jerome “Jerry” Robbins — an aspiring writer who was killed in World War II on Christmas Eve 1944 when his troopship (the SS Leopoldville) was torpedoed near Cherbourg. The letters, labeled “Go Through,” had been boxed away for decades. Reading them reawakened grief and a renewed love for Jerry, and set Deborah on a mission to honor his writing and finally grieve properly. The episode follows the process of reading the archive, researching Jerry’s fate, and taking Deborah to his gravesite, where she speaks from the heart and finds new energy and closure.
Episode summary
- Backstory: Deborah and Jerry met as teenagers in Washington Heights, Brooklyn. They were longtime friends who became engaged before Jerry enlisted in the Army during WWII.
- The discovery: Deborah’s daughter Lee clears out a storage room and finds a labeled box of 256 letters and manuscripts from Jerry, stored and untouched for nearly 80 years.
- Reading the archive: Jonathan Goldstein and producer Phoebe read all the letters, reconstructing a portrait of Jerry as witty, literary, devoted — a young Columbia student and aspiring writer who enlisted in 1943.
- Jerry in the war: His daily letters (and earlier fiction) shift into reporting from boot camp and then the front. He and Deborah had an intimate ritual (“the nightly meeting” / “here and now”) and promised a future together.
- Death and secrecy: On Christmas Eve 1944 the SS Leopoldville was torpedoed near Cherbourg; about 763 American soldiers died. For years details of the sinking were obscured and survivors were discouraged from talking.
- The emotional fallout: Reading the letters pulled Deborah into “Jerryland” — a near‑obsessive revisiting of the past that worried her family and brought nightmares and unresolved grief to the surface.
- Genealogical discovery: A family researcher found that Jerry’s remains had been repatriated and interred at Mount Lebanon Jewish Cemetery — only about an hour from Deborah’s apartment.
- The visit: Goldstein, Deborah, her daughters, aide, and documentary filmmaker Joe Berlinger (her son‑in‑law) visit Jerry’s gravesite. Deborah recites the Kaddish and, unexpectedly, speaks an impassioned anti‑war extemporaneous tribute, then returns home feeling recharged and more present.
- Aftermath: Deborah is publishing a collection of Jerry’s writings (details at waitformeworld.com); her daughter Lee is developing a screenplay and hosting a live read. The episode closes with production credits and seasonal sign‑offs.
Key themes and takeaways
- The power of archives: Trapped or hidden documents can reawaken identity, love, and unresolved grief even decades later.
- Grief deferred can resurface: Deborah had coped for a lifetime by “boxing” emotion; confronting artifacts can force mourning but also enable healing.
- Rituals and memory: Small shared rituals (Jerry and Deborah’s nightly meeting) create enduring emotional bonds that survive time and distance.
- Mourning vs. obsession: Family concern about “living in the past” is real, but revisiting the past can also lead to meaningful closure when guided toward public honoring (publishing, burial visit).
- Public history and secrecy: The episode highlights how wartime bureaucratic secrecy (and poor emergency response) amplified family trauma; the SS Leopoldville sinking was a suppressed tragedy.
- Aging and becoming: The story reframes late‑life change as continued growth — Deborah experiences renewed vitality after confronting her past.
Notable quotes & moments
- The box label: “Go Through” — a literal imperative that frames the episode.
- Jerry’s ritual language: “Here and now.” (their nightly meeting that sustained them during separation)
- Jerry’s poem before he died: “All I ask for, God, in the brief second before eternity swallows me up, a glimpse of the world that is to be, where no man need make a prayer like mine…” — a plea against “man‑made madness.”
- Deborah at the gravesite: an unplanned, visceral condemnation of war — calling warmongers “thieves” and mourning the lost young lives.
- Deborah’s reflection after the visit: the cemetery trip “wasn’t painful. I got a refill of energy.”
Practical info, resources & next steps mentioned in the episode
- Deborah is publishing a collection of Jerry’s writings; more info at waitformeworld.com.
- Lee (Deborah’s daughter) is developing a screenplay and hosting a live read on January 20 at Jazz Forum in Tarrytown, NY.
- Recommended reading (from episode credits): Leopoldville — a book about the sinking (author referenced: Alan Andrade).
- Heavyweight contact: stories can be submitted by emailing heavyweight@pushkin.fm.
Production credits (selected)
- Host: Jonathan Goldstein
- Produced by: Phoebe Flanagan and Jonathan Goldstein
- Senior producer: Kalila Holt
- Supervising producer: Stevie Lane
- Editorial guidance: Emily Condon
- Music / mixing: Emma Munger, Christine Fellows, John K. Sampson, Blue Dot Sessions, Bobby Lord, Chris Zabriskie; theme by The Weakerthans
- Episode number: #66 — “Deborah”
- Network: Pushkin Industries (iHeart Podcast distribution noted)
Why this episode matters: it’s a quiet, intimate exploration of how the past can suddenly demand reckoning — and how, even at 102, facing buried grief can open a path back into the present and toward purpose (publishing, storytelling, public mourning).