Overview of Vulnerability, Courage & Fatherhood (Good Inside with Dr. Becky Kennedy)
Dr. Becky interviews Joe Gonzalez — a New York–based father, media professional, and founder of Brooklyn Stroll Club — about fatherhood, loneliness, community-building, and the emotional work of parenting. The conversation centers on how community reduces isolation for dads, what “playing the long game” looks like in day-to-day parenting, and how vulnerability, repair, and modeling emotional skills matter for children and parents alike.
Key themes
- The loneliness of modern parenthood, especially for fathers, and the power of community to change that.
- “Playing the long game” in parenting: prioritizing connection over short-term convenience.
- Validating children’s feelings while maintaining boundaries and pursuing solutions.
- Parenting as a process of healing and re‑raising parts of yourself.
- The importance of repair: saying “I’m sorry” as a strength and relationship strategy.
- Practical realities of toddler behavior: tantrums = feelings without skills; they often start before age two.
Summary of the conversation
- Joe’s origin story: when his son was born Joe found himself lacking local support and community. He documented fatherhood online and organized a spontaneous Saturday stroller meetup — about 20 dads showed up — and Brooklyn Stroll Club grew from there. The Club’s purpose: a community for dads to feel seen, supported, and to broaden the voice of modern fatherhood.
- Why community matters: many men lack close friendships (Joe cites a Mundo stat ~55–58% of men 25–40 have no close friend). Without people to normalise parenting struggles, parents become more activated, respond out of fight/flight, and feel alone.
- The “alone + hard” idea: the transition to parenthood will be hard; reducing the “alone” piece gives parents more agency and resilience.
- Example: stroller tantrum. Joe describes choosing to validate his son’s distress while still getting to the park — “I don’t just want to get my kid to the park. I want my kid to feel loved the whole way to the park.” That captures the long‑game approach: connection while maintaining direction.
- Parenting as mirror work: children trigger unresolved material in us. Parenting invites re‑raising parts of ourselves and offers opportunities to model different responses.
- Repair and vulnerability: Joe identifies “I’m sorry” as harder and more vulnerable than “I love you,” and argues that adults who apologize model healthy leadership and relationships.
- Practical support: Brooklyn Stroll Club provides in-person meetups and an online community where dads can ask questions, normalize experience, and get quick feedback (example: multiple dads responding to a stroller tantrum question with concrete suggestions).
Notable quotes / insights
- “I don’t just want to get my kid to the park. I want my kid to feel loved the whole way to the park.”
- “All a tantrum really is is a surge of feelings without skills to manage feelings.”
- “When our kid bites or hits, it often triggers something inside us — we want to stop the feeling inside ourselves as much as we want to stop the behavior.”
- “The most powerful relationship strategy in the world is repair.”
Rapid-fire highlights (Joe’s quick answers)
- Stereotype to retire about dads: “That dads are stupid / dads don’t know anything.”
- Proud recent moment: celebrating his seventh anniversary with his wife (babysitter, time together).
- More vulnerable to say: “I’m sorry” (harder than “I love you”).
- One piece of advice for new dads: “Be patient with yourself — it’s your first time and their first time.”
- Hoped legacy for his son: “My dad had so many people around him that loved him and supported him, and that he loved and served and supported too.”
Practical takeaways / recommendations
- Build or join community: meetups, stroller groups, online dad forums — regular connection reduces isolation and normalizes struggles.
- Play the long game: prioritize connection during stressful moments instead of opting for short-term ease that sacrifices emotional learning.
- Validate feelings + hold limits: acknowledge a child’s distress (“I see you’re upset”) and still follow through with caregiving decisions and structure.
- Practice repair publicly: apologize when you’re wrong; modeling repair teaches children how relationships recover.
- Notice your story: when you react strongly to a child’s behavior, pause and ask what story you’re telling yourself — you’re reacting to that story more than to the child.
Action items & resources mentioned
- Brooklyn Stroll Club — local dad community in Brooklyn (founded by Joe Gonzalez) that grew from informal stroller meetups; model to emulate for creating local fatherhood groups.
- Good Inside offerings — Dr. Becky references courses and materials (and seasonal Giveback: Welcome Baby partnership).
- Quick skill practice: next time your child tantrums, try a short script: validate (“I see you’re really upset”), name the goal (“we’re going to the park”), and take one small action toward the goal (move outside, offer a transition).
- Consider modeling repair in low‑stakes moments: say “I’m sorry” when you overreact; notice the relational benefits.
Episode logistics & sponsors (brief)
- Host: Dr. Becky Kennedy (Good Inside).
- Guest: Joe Gonzalez, founder of Brooklyn Stroll Club.
- Episode sponsors mentioned: Airbnb, Skylight Calendar, Sony Alpha 7 IV (holiday sale), and Good Inside/Welcome Baby partnership (donation campaign through memberships).
Bottom line: fatherhood is reshaping when men build community and practice emotional availability. Small, repeated choices (validating feelings while holding limits; apologizing when wrong; showing up with other parents) create long-term relational shifts — for children, partners, and fathers themselves.