Overview of Michelle Obama: We Still Go High
This Call Her Daddy episode features Michelle Obama in a wide-ranging conversation with host Alex Cooper about her new book The Look, the politics of women’s appearance, social media’s harm to young people, aging, friendships, motherhood-career tradeoffs, confidence and leadership, and what “going high” means today. Michelle mixes personal anecdotes (skiing, knitting, parenting, working with designers) with clear, practical advice for women navigating modern pressures—especially young women and girls.
Key topics discussed
- The Look (Michelle’s new book): framed as a values-driven fashion book about confidence, representation and the fashion industry as a business.
- Objectification of women in politics and media: personal experiences from the campaign and the White House.
- Strategy: “If you can’t beat them, work their fascination to your advantage” — using appearance strategically without being reduced to it.
- Social media and mental health: rise in depression, youth addiction, and the need for collective limits/regulation.
- Aging and anti‑aging culture: celebrating aging as privilege and valuing the wisdom of older women.
- Friendship and community: maintaining meaningful relationships, selective friendship practices and “kitchen table” support.
- Career, motherhood and perfectionism: “You can have it all — just not all at once.” Managing priorities and giving yourself grace.
- Confidence and imposter syndrome: gendered double standards, “120%ers” and learning to accept “good enough.”
- Leadership and culture change: use power to change structures (dress codes, HR policies) rather than replicate old harms.
- Men as allies: raising boys differently and asking men in power to create tables they promised their daughters.
- “When they go low, we go high” reframed: strategic, outcome‑focused responses rather than emotional indulgence.
- Readiness for a female president: progress has been made but social conditioning and context matter; keep pushing.
Main takeaways
- The politics of appearance is real: women are held to different, often weaponized standards—learn to separate media tactics from on-the-ground reality and use appearance strategically when it advances substantive goals.
- Social media is engineered to be addictive and is linked to worsening youth mental health; collective/community rules (not just individual fixes) are needed.
- Aging should be reframed as empowerment, not decline; older women’s wisdom is underutilized and must be amplified.
- Friendship and community are as important as education/career—cultivate and prioritize them intentionally.
- Perfectionism and trying to be 120% in every area leads to burnout; accept trade-offs and keep something for yourself.
- Confidence can be developed: practice, therapy, mentorship, and honest self-work beat unearned bravado.
- Leadership responsibility: wield platforms thoughtfully and when in power, change the rules that forced you to play the old game.
- “Going high” isn’t passivity—feel the feelings, then act strategically to achieve outcomes.
Notable quotes & insights
- “If you can't beat them, work their fascination to your advantage.” — On using fashion/appearance strategically.
- “Going high means getting to the solution. It's outcome determinative.” — Reframing “when they go low, we go high.”
- “You can have it all? Yes — not at the same time.” — On staging priorities and letting go of impossible expectations.
- “Get off the phone.” — A blunt call to reduce social media dependence for mental health and real-life connection.
- “The arc of the universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” — Framed as reasoned optimism: progress is non-linear.
Actionable advice & recommendations
- Read The Look to understand how fashion, representation and values intersect.
- Limit social media use: set collective family/community norms for kids’ devices; prioritize real-world activities (sports, clubs, reading).
- Practice selective friendship: let people in, but be prepared to remove those who are toxic.
- Pick your battles strategically: focus energy where it moves the needle, especially in public roles.
- Give yourself permission to do less than 120%—accept trade-offs and keep something for your future self.
- Seek therapy and mentorship; normalizing help is essential for building internal confidence.
- If you attain power, address structural issues (flexible policies, fair dress codes, support for working parents) rather than reproducing old systems.
- Men in power: think of the daughters you raised—would you make your workplace the table you promised them?
Topics, anecdotes & color
- Personal details: Michelle skis (Aspen mother‑daughter tradition), knits, reads books (prefers print over audio), and credits designers and stylists for their role in public life.
- Campaign/press anecdotes: media fixation on her appearance; labels like “angry Black woman” used to undermine passion.
- Family and friendship practices: active curation of friends, security/logistics of socializing as First Lady.
- Politics and culture: she declined Trump’s inauguration as an instance of learning to say no; believes two presidential terms are enough and wants new leadership/ideas.
Who this episode is for
- Young women and girls grappling with social media, career choices, and identity.
- Working mothers balancing career and family.
- Anyone interested in gender dynamics in media, politics and leadership.
- Content creators and platform holders thinking about responsible use of influence.
- Men seeking practical ways to be allies.
Conclusion
Michelle Obama blends personal storytelling with pragmatic guidance: acknowledge the unfair rules women face, use strategy to advance substantive goals, invest in real-world relationships and personal growth, and hold platforms and power to higher standards. The conversation is both a wake-up call (about social media, objectification and systemic work left to do) and a message of steady hope: progress is messy but possible, and the next generation is the baton-bearer.