Overview of A Private Matter, Episode 2
This episode follows the investigation into the disappearance of Jay Hickey, an elderly man with dementia who lived on a Christmas tree farm in Epsom, New Hampshire. Through interviews with his daughter Emily, neighbors, police, and others in the community, the episode paints a disturbing picture of a troubled home life, delayed reporting, and the growing suspicion that Jay’s wife and caregiver, Patty Hickey, knew much more than she admitted.
Key Developments in the Investigation
Jay’s disappearance
- Jay was reported missing on February 26, 2024, after his daughter Emily called police.
- Police later determined Jay’s last confirmed sighting by anyone other than Patty was in April 2023.
- That means Jay may have been missing for up to 10 months before anyone contacted authorities.
Patty’s explanation doesn’t hold up
- Patty told police Jay had gone to visit one of his brothers in Florida.
- She later claimed she had confirmed this by phone, but officers discovered the number she had saved was wrong.
- When police checked with Jay’s actual brother and his family, they confirmed he was not in Florida.
Police search and lack of evidence
- Officers searched the house, property, and surrounding land, including with cadaver dogs.
- They found no sign of Jay and no clear evidence suggesting his body was in the home.
- The case then shifted to piecing together Jay’s final months and Patty’s role in what happened.
Family History and Home Life
Emily Hickey’s account
- Jay and Patty’s daughter, Emily, describes her mother as volatile, emotionally abusive, and sometimes physically abusive.
- She says Patty had severe mood swings and unpredictable rages, which the family later understood as possibly linked to bipolar disorder.
- Emily recalls one especially disturbing incident in which Patty shot the family dog with a BB gun during an outburst.
Jay as a father
- Emily describes Jay as kind, gentle, patient, and deeply spiritual.
- Her main criticism of him is that he did not protect the children enough from Patty’s abuse.
- She says she had a complicated relationship with both parents, but over time she and Jay stayed in contact more than the others.
Dementia and Decline
Jay’s condition worsened
- Emily says Jay’s dementia became severe enough that he could no longer reliably use a phone or even find the bathroom in his own house.
- Police and others who knew him described a sharp cognitive decline, with increasing confusion and wandering.
What the episode explains about dementia
- The episode pauses to explain that dementia is not one disease, but a broad term for symptoms such as memory loss, confusion, agitation, and personality change.
- It also highlights how devastating and poorly understood Alzheimer’s disease remains.
Concerns About Patty’s Care
Other people noticed warning signs
- A town coworker, Andrea Novotny, said Patty behaved strangely and had told people she had removed Jay from all medication and was treating him through diet.
- Adult Protective Services had also been contacted about Jay, but the case was closed before his disappearance.
- The episode notes the limits of adult protective intervention: adults have the right to make bad choices unless the bar for guardianship is met.
Patty’s refusal of outside help
- Patty said Jay did not want a nursing home or outside caregivers.
- She also declined some forms of assistance that may have been available through Medicaid or veteran services.
The Police Interrogation
Chief Michael presses Patty
- Epsom police chief Brian Michael confronts Patty with the inconsistencies in her story.
- He tells her that if she keeps lying, the case could be pursued criminally.
- He repeatedly asks how Jay could have traveled anywhere in his condition without her help.
Patty remains evasive
- Patty insists Jay made his own decisions and may have left voluntarily.
- At one point, she suggests he may have meant he wanted to be with a dead brother, but this does not resolve the core issue:
- Why did she not report him missing?
- Why did she tell multiple people he was away visiting family?
- Why did she keep saying he was fine when he clearly was not?
Main Takeaways
- Jay Hickey likely disappeared long before the police were called.
- Patty Hickey’s story about his whereabouts is inconsistent and increasingly implausible.
- The episode strongly suggests neglect, concealment, or both, though it stops short of a final conclusion.
- Jay’s dementia, the family’s dysfunction, and Patty’s control over information all contributed to the delay in reporting his disappearance.
- The case is now not just about a missing person, but about whether someone with caregiving responsibility allowed a vulnerable man to vanish without raising the alarm.
What’s Next
- The episode ends by signaling that the investigation is expanding beyond police work.
- It teases a next chapter involving another community member with a different kind of insight into Jay’s situation.