Overview of Somethings Burning And It's Bert's Bus | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
This episode of Two Bears One Cave (Bert Kreischer & Tom Segura) centers on Bert’s tour-bus fire near Fargo and the near-miss that could have killed the crew, then branches into candid updates on health (blood clots, meds, sobriety), touring and material, celebrity gossip (Epstein files anecdote, a fan interaction controversy), a spirited napping debate, and plugs for the Two Bears 5K plus several sponsors. The tone is conversational, jokey and sometimes raw — Bert processes the trauma with dark humor and practical plans going forward.
Key topics covered
- The bus fire: what happened, how fast it burned, who was on it, and how everyone escaped.
- Bert’s health update: recent blood clots, being on blood thinners (six months), no alcohol/weed/Xanax, and medication (Mounjaro) effects.
- Emotional fallout: processing near-death, loss of possessions, anxiety attacks, coping strategies.
- Touring and material: set lengths, rebuilding routines, upcoming specials and plans for smaller theater runs vs arenas.
- Epstein email “files” anecdote: finding comedians’ names on an old Epstein-era ticket email list.
- Celebrity/fan incident: discussion of a singer’s reported security confrontation with a child fan (disagreement over the incident and the apology video).
- Napping debate: Bert defends daily naps; Tom objects; references to athletes and historic nappers.
- Two Bears 5K announcement and logistics.
- Sponsors and promo codes.
Main takeaways
- The bus was lost to a rapid fire after an apparent electrical issue; driver Dewey escaped but the front cabin went up in ~30 seconds. Bert believes the front fire would have trapped sleeping passengers and likely killed them.
- Bert narrowly avoided death due to a blowout stopping them and subsequent logistics — he expresses shock, grief (loss of possessions, hats, clothes) and relief.
- Health-wise, Bert had a recent blood clot episode; he’s on blood thinners for six months, abstaining from alcohol and many substances, and is using Mounjaro (weight-loss med) with noted GI effects.
- Emotionally he’s unsettled: anxiety attacks, journaling, and trying to rework his stage material after the trauma.
- He’s optimistic about continuing to perform and preparing material for future specials (mentions shooting in 2027).
- Two Bears 5K is scheduled for May 9 in Pasadena (twobears5k.com) — signups live.
Episode flow / highlights (chronological)
- Quick banter and Bert removing compression socks; jokes about aging and rosacea.
- Detailed recounting of the tour-bus blowout near Fargo, the wait for a tire, decision to not sleep on the bus, and discovery the bus caught fire while driver Dewey was aboard.
- Graphic description of how fast the fire spread and realization of what might’ve happened if the crew had been asleep in the back of the bus.
- Bert’s reflections on mortality: prior blood clot incident, sobriety, how near-death moments affect perspective.
- Candid personal moments: anxiety attack, distracting himself (porn anecdote), nicotine/Zyn use, effects of Mounjaro.
- Short segment on a past media mix-up (someone claiming he “lost everything and got it back” on a different show).
- Discussion of being in “the Epstein files” in the form of an old ticket request email (comic anecdote about celebrity spam lists).
- Coverage of a reported incident where singer Chappell Roan (referred to in conversation) allegedly had a security confrontation with an 11‑year‑old fan — debate about the artist’s response/apology.
- Long, playful debate about napping vs. anti-nap culture (Jon Bernthal vs. Bert), citing famous nappers (athletes, historical figures).
- Announcement of Two Bears 5K (May 9, Pasadena) — event features, encouraged participation.
- Tour talk: arena vs. theater strategy, set-length considerations, rebuilding material, and the fatigue of multiple nightly shows.
- Closing ads/sponsor read-throughs and sign-offs.
Notable quotes & candid moments
- “Death looks good on me.” — self-deprecating line after the bus incident.
- “We would have all been asleep in it…no one would have gotten out.” — on how fast the fire spread and how deadly it could’ve been.
- “I turned on porn… and the arousal turned me off.” — a blunt, personal admission about dealing with panic during the aftermath.
- On sobriety and health: “I’m on blood thinners… six months… then I can drink.” — timeline and restrictions Bert’s working with.
- About Epstein files: comedic disbelief that rich/infamous people still couldn’t get tickets to a comedy show.
Practical / action items mentioned
- Two Bears 5K — May 9 in Pasadena. Sign up: twobears5k.com.
- Bert is evaluating replacement/rental buses (offers to rent buses for two months noted).
- Health: Bert must continue medical follow-ups, keep moving on flights (he sets alarms to stand & squat every 45 minutes).
Sponsors & promo details mentioned
- Ethos — life insurance (ethos.com/bears).
- BlueChew Gold — promo code: BEARS (10% off first month).
- Shopify — shopify.com/bears.
- BetterHelp — betterhelp.com/bears (therapy).
- Babbel — babbel.com/bears (up to 60% off).
- Acorns — acorns.com/bears ($5 bonus investment).
- K1 Speed — closing sponsor mention.
Who this episode is for
- Fans of Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura who want the behind-the-scenes story of the bus fire and Bert’s personal, unfiltered reaction.
- Listeners interested in how performers cope with near-death events, touring logistics, and material development post-trauma.
- People considering the Two Bears 5K or who follow the duo’s live events.
Final note
The episode mixes darkly comic storytelling with frank emotional processing and practical consequences (medical restrictions, lost gear, touring disruption). Bert is candid about fear and coping, and Tom plays the foil — together they balance humor, outrage and sincere relief that nobody was hurt.